Changing My Ways
by illuminatingthesoul
Summary: A recent shooting leaves Dov hopelessly depressed and drowning his sorrows at the bottom of a bottle. Will he and a new friend pull through together, or will he wind up putting her needs before his own, again? Be advised, strong language.
1. Rock Bottom

Hello again! As always, you can catch the backstory to this one in my last fic, 'Life Raft'. In case you're not feeling it, Dov shot a man and started drinking to cope, and Andy's maaad! Strong language, be advised!  
This one is just an intro, the next one will be longer. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing Rookie Blue related.

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"Get up. Right now." She ripped the covers off of his body. "Now." Her voice was commanding, and anyone else would have been terrified.

"No. I will tomorrow." Dov's voice was practically inaudible.

"You do _not _get to do this to me. Get up." She stood next to him, arms crossed. When he didn't move, she grabbed his uncovered leg and pulled him off the bed.

"Fuck, Andy!" He held his throbbing head.

"Get. Up." Anger boiled in her voice.

"I am." He didn't move from the floor.

"You're going to lose your job. Get up, now." She lowered her voice, but it was just as venomous.

"Why are you even here?" He spat at her.

"Because this is what friends do!" She shot back. "I am not going to sit here and watch you kill yourself." She grabbed his arm and began pulling him down the hallway. He groaned as his body was dragged along the shining laminate floors. She pulled him into the bathroom and lifted him into the bathtub, before turning on the ice cold shower.

"Holy shit!" He yelled, clambering out of the tub. "God damnit, Andy!" She shook her head and bit her lip as she did her best to keep her mouth shut. "Jesus, I'm up okay? You can go now."

"No." She shrugged as he pulled himself off of the ground and leaned over the sink, his hair dripping.

"Yes, Andy. Just go!" He slammed his hand down on the counter and she jumped. Her eyes met his, and his heart fell as he saw tears filling the murky amber storms. She turned and stomped out, slamming the door behind her.

"No." He whispered, before he turned and flung the door open, chasing after her. "Andy! I'm sorry, please. Stop!" He reached for her arm as she rushed around, gathering her things. She jerked it away and continued to shuffle about the room. "Andy!" She ignored him.

Finally, he stepped in front of the door, blocking her only exit.

"You wanted me gone, I'm going. Move." She looked at her feet.

"I don't want you to leave. You know I don't." He put his hands on her arms. "I'm sorry." Tears spilled out of the corners of her eyes and she shook her head.

"No you're not." Her lips quivered, and she pushed her hair behind her ears.

"What? Of course I am." He furrowed his brow and ran his hand up to her shoulder, but she pushed it away.

"No, you're not, Dov. You're an alcoholic." She stepped back. "You don't mean anything you say."

"Andy I'm sorry, please just come here." He held his arms open.

"No! You're my Dad, Dov. I can't put myself through this again." She pushed past him and walked out the door.

"Andy, please!" He called after her. "Please! Just talk to me."

"Why? So you can tell me that you want to get better again? It's been a month and a half Dov. There's no more leniency here. Best is almost done with you, and so am I. You're on your own." She yelled back at him.

"_Please, _Andy. I just want to talk." Desperation plagued his voice. "Please." Against her better judgement, she turned and walked back to the house.

"You've got five minutes." She couldn't even look at him as she passed him in the doorway again. "Then, we're finished."


	2. Taking The First Step

Here's number two! Originally, I had this whole story planned out. But then I wrote this, and the characters kind of took over. Think, less Andy and more of a mysterious stranger.

Enjoy!

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Taking The First Step

Andy sat opposite Dov on the couch, her legs together and hands folded in her lap.

"What is it?" Her eyes refused to meet his.

"I'm sorry." He pulled his knees to his chest and rubbed his eyes. He was too damn hung over to care about his image.

"Yeah, Dov, I know you're sorry. What else is new?" She mumbled.

"I let you down." He whispered. She turned to him.

"Yeah, you know what, you did." The anger in her voice was overwhelming. "You pushed me away and dug your own grave, here. And then you wouldn't let me help."

"You don't think I wanted to? I didn't realize how hard it was to start living again, Andy." He was too ashamed to look at her.

"You could have tried harder." She breathed, a tinge of sadness ringing in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Andy. I don't know what else to say. I'm an idiot, I failed you. I turned to alcohol even when you were right there to help me. I'm sorry." Dov's voice was still groggy.

"You make me so angry." She clenched her fists and spoke through her teeth. "I just wanted to fix you, and you wouldn't let me. Why don't you trust me?"

"I do, Andy. I do. I just couldn't… deal with everything." He trailed off.

"I wanted to help you." She sniffed. "I just wanted to save you. You're _this _close, to losing yourself Dov. You might have already." She touched his knee.

"Andy, do you think I want this? I just want to be back to normal." His voice was filled with hurt.

"I'm so sorry that you had to kill that man, Dov. I'm so, so sorry." Tears welled up in Andy's eyes for the umpteenth time that week.

"It's a part of the job; I did what I had to do." He shrugged, fighting tears himself.

"That doesn't make it any easier to accept." She whispered. Dov let his legs relax in front of him, and Andy rubbed his shins.

"I should be okay by now." He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's hard to be okay when you're too numb to feel anything." She raised her eye brows.

"I'm so miserable, Andy. You have no idea how terrible I feel all the time. From the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep, I drown myself in that damn bottle. I hate myself." He tilted his head backward and sniffed, blinking back tears. Andy whimpered a little bit.

"You're me." She smiled pathetically, tears trickling down her cheeks. "You're just like me." She crawled forward and rested her head on his chest. She wasn't angry anymore; she just wanted to hold him until he was better.

"I haven't gone a day without wishing that I was strong enough to do this." He whispered.

"You're going to be okay, Dov. You are." Her eyelashes skimmed his shirt.

"I don't think I will be." He exhaled sharply, a tear escaping his eye.

"Stop it." She lifted her head. She saw the tear track and crumbled into pieces. "You're going to be fine, just like me. I'm better, you will be too." She cried, tears spilling onto his shirt.

"But what if I'm not? You don't know, Andy. You don't know. You can't know." He rubbed his eyes profusely.

"I'll go to meetings with you every week." She placed her head back on his chest, and squeezed his hand. "Every single week. You'll get better." She tried to convince him.

"I want to believe you." He whispered.

"We need a plan." She patted his chest and sat up. She rolled off the couch and crawled to the liquor cabinet. Taking out as many bottles as she could fit in her arms, she walked into the kitchen. "Come on." Her voice was weak.

She met him in the doorway and took his hand, and led him over to the sink.

"Do it." She handed him the first bottle.

"I can't." He whispered. She walked over to his other side and placed her hand on his.

"You're going to though." She gently tipped the neck of the bottle down and Dov's hand shook as the clear liquid disappeared down the drain.

"You don't know how many times I've had to do this." She whispered as she reached for another bottle. "I did it for my Dad, because I thought that was what he needed. But it hurt me more than I realized." She placed her other hand on his shoulder. "I can only do this once with you. If you go out and buy more, I can't help you anymore."

He nodded. "I understand." She helped him empty another bottle. "It'll be fine." He emptied the next one alone.

"What do we do after this?" He asked.

"Hmm?" Her head was resting on his shoulder.

"The plan?" He emptied another.

"Oh, yeah. Let's build another tent. We were happy in the tent." She sighed and smiled at him.

"Good plan." He said, gaining self respect with every drop that disappeared down the drain.

Four more bottles and they were done, hopefully forever.

"I've just gotta call Sam and let him know, okay?" She stepped out of the room and dialled. "Hey, I'll be home in a few hours okay? Yeah he's fine, I think. We're going to build a tent." She laughed. "If you want, feel free. Bring food. Now that it's just Dov here, he's got a whopping jar of pickles and half a bottle of mustard occupying his fridge." She smiled as she said goodbye and returned to the kitchen.

"Sam might stop by, is that okay?" She sat down at the table opposite him. The morning light bounced off the stray strands of hair that was thrown around haphazardly.

"Yeah, for sure. Will he be down for our tent?" He tilted his head and smiled his crooked smile.

"He'd better be!" She laughed. "Ready?" He nodded and the two began to deconstruct the couch, gathering all of the pillows necessary to act as a wall. They walked into his bedroom and carefully crafted a new and improved version of the tent they'd slept in for days a few weeks before.

Fifteen minutes or so later, they lay on their backs staring at the roof of their fortress.

"I love tents." He smiled.

"Me too. They're one of my favourite places to be, honestly. I feel safe." She rolled onto her stomach and snuggled up to the pillow beneath her. There was a knock on the door, and Andy smiled, knowing who it was.

"Come in!" Dov called. "Time to find out if your fiancé is a tent person."

"As long as it's not outside, I'm sure he'll be fine." The two shared a laugh as footsteps sounded down the hall.

Sam laughed when he entered the room. "How old are you two?" He asked, leaning down to look at them through their makeshift door. Andy rolled onto her side to face him and winked.

"Room for one more." She sang and patted the bed beside her. Sighing, Sam got down onto his knees and crawled in next to her.

"Hey Dov." He smiled. Dov waved back, and a lull fell over the three. "I come bearing gifts." Sam reached out of the tent and pulled back a plastic bag. "Chips, anyone?" Dov flipped over and extended his hands.

"Oh dear lord, yes. I haven't eaten real food in weeks." Sam and Andy laughed as Dov hungrily devoured a handful of chips.

"You comin' back to work soon, buddy?" Sam lay on his side next to Andy, his hand on her stomach.

"Yeah, I hope so. God knows with this one around, it'll be sooner than later." He laughed and poked Andy in the side.

"She is good for some things." He smiled and kissed her nose. She giggled and swatted him on the arm.

"We should do this more often. Both my favourite people in the world, chips, a tent, it's a dream come true." She stretched her arms out and smiled.

"I'm totally good with that. Free food man, bring it on." Dov laughed, his mouth full.

"We have been over this, Dov Epstein! Chew, swallow, then speak!" She and Sam laughed. Dov tried to chew while laughing, and finally succeeded.

They lay on Dov's bed for hours, just chatting and making fun of each other. It was the first good day that he'd had in months.

"So, Dov. I know this guy; I think he could help you out." Sam tapped Dov's arm.

"Yeah?" Dov inquired, still eating.

"Yeah. See, my old man…" He looked down to ensure that a now sleeping Andy hadn't woken up. She was curled up on his chest, her hair tickling his neck. "He drank. A lot. All the time." He grimaced as memories flashed behind his eyes. "So me and my mom, we found a guy. He helped him out, or he tried at least." He stroked Andy's back gently.

"And? Is your dad better now?" Dov rolled onto his side.

"Don't know. He relapsed a few months after and we kicked him out." Sam sighed.

"I'm sorry, man." Dov furrowed his brows.

"It's nothing. But Dov, this guy was good. He made everything seem worth working for. He gave me the determination to get through the Academy. He was like a second father. I think he could help you out." Sam shrugged his shoulders.

"That sounds good, man. Thanks." Dov smiled.

"Bubble bath." Andy said, asleep. The two men exchanged bewildered looks before bursting out in a fit of laughter. "What happened?" Andy lifted her head and steadied herself, startled.

"Nothing, babe." Sam kissed her forehead.

"Look, it's getting a little late. Why don't you guys go home? There's clearly something else on her mind." Dov gestured to a tired looking Andy. Sam chuckled.

"That's probably a good idea." He jostled Andy a bit. "We'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure." He crawled out of his side of the tent and jogged around the bed, so Sam could pass Andy to him.

"She sure does sleep a lot." He laughed once she was in his arms.

"It's because she never sleeps at night." Sam raised an eyebrow and took her back. "Later, Epstein!" He called as he walked down the hallway.

"Bye, guys." He laughed as he watched Sam try to convince Andy to unwrap her arms from around his neck. Feeling good, he closed the door and flipped open his laptop. It took all of five minutes for him to find a meeting to attend that evening, and with that, he left.

The meeting didn't start for another three hours, but Dov knew that if he was left to his own devices, nothing good would come of it. After some time killing, he'd successfully hit two coffee shops, bought more chips and taken his trusty, and very dusty, grey Mazda through the car wash. Seven PM brought cold winds and moonlit streets; the eeriness was not lost on Dov. He jogged for about a block to the front door of the local community center before pausing a few feet from the door.

He hadn't really thought about it, but what was going to happen when he got better? Was he even ready to get better? The hair on his arms stood up.

"Fuck, I can't do this. Bad idea, bad idea." He whispered to himself. He turned to leave, but was blind sided when another person tried to walk around him. The clatter of objects could be heard as the woman's purse fell to the ground.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry." The dark figure said as she bent down and started gathering her things. Dov knelt down in front of her.

"No, no. That was my fault, I'm sorry." He said, helping her with her purse. The two stood, the moonlight their only audience. She smiled gratefully at him.

"Thanks." Her straight, white teeth were the first things to catch his attention. The second was the light dusting of freckles that covered her fair skin.

"Anytime." He smiled and held out his hand. "I'm Dov, Epstein." Gently, timidly, she took it.

"Megan Hayes." She smiled back. "Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, really." He realized he was still holding her hand. "Oh, sorry." He breathed, loosening his grip.

"Oh, don't worry." She giggled and a slight tinge of pink rose up her neck. A lull fell over them before he spoke again.

"So, what brings you out here?" He said, trying to make conversation. She smiled a little and nodded her head in the direction behind him.

"The uh, meetings." She smiled demurely while Dov mentally kicked himself.

"Oh, I – that would make sense." He stuttered, laughing a little.

"Yeah. You?" She tilted her head a little, a lock of her dark brown hair falling into her face.

"I was going to go to the meeting, but when I ran into you I was kind of in the midst of chickening out." He ran his hand through his hair.

"Why?" She asked, her voice small.

"I don't know. I don't know anything." His smile faded and it was clear that his mind was somewhere else. She curled her hair behind her ears and touched his arm, snapping him out of his trance.

"You don't know if you never try." Her eyes rose from her feet to meet his gaze.

"You know, you're right." He smiled and turned around to face the building. He stepped back so he was next to her. "You long have you been going?"

"This is my third week." She exhaled sharply.

"Oh, so you're still pretty new to this too then." He looked at her.

"Well, it's my third week of my fourth try." She bit her lip. "I always manage to lose it." Her voice faded and she began to rub her thumb across the back of her other hand, which Dov recognized as an unconscious attempt at calming oneself.

"Hey." He reached over and put his hand on hers. "You're gonna be fine." A small smile curled up the corners of her mouth.

"Here's to hoping, right?" She yawned and Dov checked his watch.

"Well, it's 7:05. You wanna go in?" He faced her once more.

"You've decided against chickening out?" His hand still held hers.

"Well, I've gotta make sure that you succeed this time." His eyes twinkled in the darkness.

"My hero." She giggled. A pain echoed through Dov's chest as he remembered the last woman to say that to him.

"Hardly." He smiled as best he could. "After you." He held the door open for her. She flashed another smile at him as he returned to walk beside her.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.


	3. Soul Baring and Coffee

Here's number three! This is another one covering a short amount of time, like the first, and the next will be more productive, I swear. Thank you for all of your reviews, they're great!  
Enjoy!

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**Soul Baring and Coffee**

The two entered the third door on the left, and quickly took two seats next to each other in front of the coffee machine. A few more people filed in, and then the meeting began. A tall woman with dark hair stood and began to speak.

"Hello everyone! For you new faces out there, my name is Sophie, and I was an alcoholic. This is my fourteenth year sober, and my second year hosting this class of meetings."

"How's your daughter doing, Soph?" An older man opposite Dov asked, concern in his eyes.

"She's well, Hank, thank you for asking. She came home last night and is very happy to be out of that hospital." Sophie smiled brightly at the mention of her daughter.

"Her daughter has cystic fibrosis. It got pretty bad a few weeks ago and she had to be admitted." Megan whispered to Dov as another group member spoke.

"How's it looking? Is it gonna clear up a little?" A blonde woman asked.

"While there hasn't been significant improvement yet, we're hopeful!" Sophie clasped her hands together. "But I have to ask that from here on in, any discussions are held on a related topic okay? Same rules." A murmur spread through the cluster of chairs as Sophie took her seat.

"Alright everyone. So, I don't know about you, but I'd like to get to know each of you a little." Megan inhaled sharply, evoking a concerned look from Dov. "Now, of course, if you're more comfortable with anonymity, that is no problem at all. I just like to know who everyone is, and how I can help." A few people nodded.

It was a relatively small meeting, about eight people. Dov would have preferred a larger one; he wasn't particularly in the mood for being singled out.

"I'll start." A man to Dov's left stood. "Hey, I'm Dave. I'm currently forty days in, and I'm still… a little jumbled." His voice lowered.

"And why did you start attending meetings, Dave?" Sophie spoke.

"Well," a smile spread across his face. "My baby boy needs a Daddy that can take care of him."

"Congratulations!" Sophie grinned again. "How old?"

"Four months." Dave's smile grew wider. A gasp could be heard from across the room.

"They are so precious at that age!" A red haired woman flashed a near heart stopping smile.

"His name is Thomas, he's just the sweetest little guy," Dave began, but stopped himself. "I, uh, sorry. Never mind." He laughed and took his seat.

The man next to him spoke, but didn't stand.

"Hello, I'm Jonathan. Sober four years, still fighting it." He said curtly.

"Well it's nice to see you here again, Jonathan." Sophie smiled earnestly. Next was a woman with tanned skin and long dark hair. Her voice was smooth and elegant.

"Hi, my name is Maria. I'm six days sober, this is my first meeting. So far, so good." She smiled as best she could.

"And why do you want to stop drinking?" Sophie asked, phrasing her question carefully.

"Because I'm going to be a fashion designer." She smiled sheepishly. "I have an internship with Henry Holland with my name on it if I can kick this." A triumphant look spread across her face.

"Oh honey, that is fantastic!" The blonde woman chimed in. "Henry is the sweetest! I wish I could intern for him."

"I'm so excited!" She whispered, taking her seat once more. Three more people spoke before eyes settled on Megan.

"Would you like to introduce yourself this week?" Sophie asked, her voice soft. Megan looked at Dov with wide eyes and furrowed brows, slightly panicked.

"I will if you will." He squeezed her hand. She nodded and turned back to the rest of the room.

"My name is Megan, and I'm three weeks into my fourth try. But I've got a good feeling about this one." She smiled demurely.

"Why do you think it's taken four tries?" Sophie asked.

"Because, I don't know. Maybe I, I get, no. I don't know." Megan shook her head and looked at her hands, which were still holding one of Dov's.

"That's fine. You don't have to know why, just know that we're going to get you fixed up." Sophie leaned down to catch Megan's gaze. "We will." Megan nodded, and then turned to Dov.

"Hey, I'm Dov. I poured everything down my sink this morning and I haven't looked back." He smiled, as a wave of laughter and smiles mirroring his spread around the room.

"And what sparked this new found desire to get sober?" Sophie laughed with them.

"The desire was always there. But I realized today that I've got people counting on me, and they deserve more than what they've been getting." He nodded.

"Why are you here, Dov?" Sophie could tell that something else was going on. Dov ran his hand through his hair and thought about his words.

"Because my best friend can't even look at me without being disgusted." He said quietly. "And she feels like it's her fault that I'm even in this situation." His voice was nearly inaudible.

"But it's not her fault?" Someone asked.

"Nope. It's just the way things played out." He shook his head and closed his eyes. "It's no ones fault, I did what I had to do." He was talking to himself more than anyone else in the group.

"Alright, that's enough I think." Sophie interjected, Dov's eyes snapped open.

"No, no, it's fine. I need to talk about it." He reassured her and himself.

"Alright, that's fine as well." She replied softly, like she had with Megan.

"Are you okay?" Megan leaned over and whispered.

"Yeah, yeah. Or, I will be." He smiled at her.

"Would you like to tell us what made you start drinking?" Sophie asked. "Please, only if you want to. Don't feel like you have to."

"I'm a police officer." Dov still loved being able to say that. "With 15. I was at a bust, out of uniform, with my friend." His heart was beating in his throat. "We were told to stay in the cars, because we weren't even supposed to be there. But her fiancé was undercover, and he was missing so she wanted to go, in case he was there. But she was injured, she broke her leg." His breathing sped up a little and Megan rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb.

"Is this the same friend that you want to stop for?" Jonathan asked, his voice was gruff, matching his five o'clock shadow and buzz cut.

"Yeah. She'd been staying with me while her fiancé was under, because of nightmares. And then we were at the station when they got the signal to go in, and she was determined to go with them. We were supposed to stay in the cars." His voice rose an octave as he recounted the incident.

"You can stop if you want." Megan whispered, soothingly.

"I've got to say it." His blue eyes had faded to a shade of grey. "Everyone had already gone inside, and we could hear gunshots. But then these two guys fell out of a window on the second floor, and it was him. I called her, because we weren't in the same car but we could see each other, and she was freaking out because he was hurt and the other guy had a gun." The room fell silent. "So I told her to stay there and I ran after them. They were still fighting, and no one else was out there. It was just me, Sam, the other guy and that was it. I was twenty feet away and the other guy had the gun at Sam's forehead." He stopped breathing for a moment.

"Dov." Megan had turned her body to face him.

"So I shot him. In the head." He made a gun with his fingers, maybe on purpose, maybe unconsciously. A delicate hand flew over Megan's mouth as the room gasped. The silence that followed was broken by a low chuckle.

"That's why I'm here too." Jonathan laughed. After a few estranged looks, he quieted. "Only, when I killed a man for the first time, I was back on duty four days later. I was drinking like crazy, and everyone knew, but no one said anything." Dov turned to the man.

"How did you just go back to work?" Dov breathed, bewildered.

"Cause it was the job. I had to. Work during the day, drink at night. That was it. Until four years ago, when I got my sorry ass out of my house and started trying to do something about it." Dov sighed. "But you're here as soon as you could be. You're gonna be fine, boy." Jonathan waved a hand dismissively. Dov turned and smiled at Megan.

"Here's to hoping." He tried to laugh.

The rest of the meeting was fairly according to schedule. Sophie shared a bit more about her past and most people joined in. Dov noticed, however, that Megan didn't. She just sat there and took it all in. By the time the meeting was over, there were many questions that if time allowed, he'd like answered. When he offered to walk her to her car; he was a little less than distraught when the engine didn't start.

"Let me drive you home." He touched her arm lightly, noting her sharp exhale in breath which made itself evident in the frigid night air.

"Thanks, that would be great." She smiled. He was painfully aware of the way she shrunk away from him while she sat in the passenger seat, directing him to her house. When they pulled up in front of her apartment building, Dov had to say something, anything.

"So, will I be seeing you next week?" He shut off the car.

"Yeah, I suppose." Her voice was as timid as a mouse.

"Look, did I scare you tonight?" He asked quietly. She didn't respond. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything." He rubbed both hands over his face. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to scare you."

"It's not your fault. It really, really isn't." She raised her eyes to meet his. "It's not."

"Great, so this is how it's gonna be for me from now on. Damaged freakin' goods." Dov spoke with resignation.

"Stop it, it isn't your fault. It's mine. I'm just a little uneasy about certain things." She scribbled something out on a notepad. "Look, call me tomorrow night. We could go grab a coffee or something?" Her voice was hesitant, but she pushed through.

"Only if you want to." Dov held her hand which clasped the paper delicately.

"I do. Just, I'm a little apprehensive sometimes." She looked away and furrowed her brows. "I don't know why I'm saying this, but…" She breathed out in disbelief. "Please don't give up on me."

"As long as you don't give up on me." Dov smiled at her. He didn't know why she was saying this, but he had a feeling that he'd find out if he stuck around, which he fully planned on doing.

She smiled her trademark demure smile and opened the door, climbing out briskly. He waited until she was safely inside before pulling away.

For the first night in a month and a half, his sleep was not plagued by nightmares. Instead, dreams of this mysterious woman inhabited his already recovering mind.

For the first night in a month and a half, he looked forward to waking up.


	4. Heroes

So, I've realized that I really love writing small amounts of time for these two. Maybe the next one will be longer, maybe not. I promise though, that there will be progress. Eventually. Heheh I love writing Dov. He's so cute. I hope you all enjoy! Thanks so much for reviews!

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**Heroes**

"So, if you wanna maybe call me back, that would be," Dov laughed a little at his inability to leave a to-the-point, curt message. "That would be great." He pressed the end button on his cell and collapsed onto the couch. "Nice one, Dov."

He hadn't gone ten minutes all day without thinking of her. Whether that was a good thing or not was still up for discussion. A smile spread across his face once more and he laughed again, at nothing in particular. He was just in a good mood. A great mood, even. He felt like he used to.

A sharp ring pierced the air and Dov nearly jumped out of his skin. His phone clattered to the floor, and he scrambled to pick it up in time.

"Hello?" His voice cracked a little.

"Dov? It's Megan." Her soft voice was music to his ears.

"Hey! Hey. What are you up to right now?" She could practically hear him smiling through the phone.

"Just got back from grocery shopping. Why, what are you thinking?" She giggled a little.

"Well how about that coffee you promised me last night?" He wanted more than just coffee.

"Um, yeah. Sure. Wanna meet at the Starbucks on Yonge?" She replied.

"Did you get your car back yet?" He asked, shaking his head.

"No, but I have legs! I can walk there." She laughed.

"Walking? You're crazy, woman." He chuckled a little. "I'll pick you up. Eight?"

"Perfect." She laughed harder.

"Great. I'll see you in a bit."

"Sounds great. Bye, Dov." Her voice rose as she smiled.

"Bye." He breathed. Hanging up, he ran his hands through his hair. Another smile appeared on his face as he looked at his cell phone still clasped in his hands.

"You get invested way too fast, buddy." He said to himself, still smiling.

He got up to walk into the kitchen when his phone rang again. Practically running back to the couch, he answered it on the second ring.

"Hello?" He asked, heart pounding.

"Hey, what's up?" A familiar voice asked.

"Oh, Andy. Not much, you?" He wasn't disappointed, just not quite as giddy as he would've been had it been Megan.

"Nothing, just had a really long day. Exhausting." Her voice was strained as she stretched out on the couch in her living room. "Absolute madness, even back at the station. It sucked. I'm still on desk, so you'd think I'd be fine right? Wrong." She groaned. "Guy walks in, obviously homeless or something, and he throws not one, not two, but THREE dead squirrels at me. Dead, Dov!" Her voice rose in pitch. "I puked for like an hour. It was so gross, but sad at the same time."

"No way! What was his deal?" Dov laughed in surprised.

"Well, as far as I know he's still in the drunk tank. So gross." He could hear the disgust in her voice.

"Oh well, hot shower can fix you up." He laughed, lying down on his couch.

"Yeah. How have you been, buddy? I called earlier but there was no answer…" She didn't need to ask the obvious question.

"I'm actually doing really well. After you guys left yesterday, I actually found a meeting to go to and it was…" He laughed. "Great."

"Really? Dov I'm so proud of you!" She shrieked into the phone. "I half expected to come over tonight and find you on another bender." She confessed.

"I really don't think that'll be happening again." He laughed. "I'm feeling good about this whole thing."

"That's great to hear, it really is. So I was thinking, I'll come over around eight thirty, we can watch movies for a while?" She said, yawning.

"Actually, I can't tonight. I… have plans." He enunciated.

"Plans? With who?" Andy had caught on quicker than he'd expected.

"Just someone I met at the meeting last night." He downplayed it.

"Dov! Who?" She prodded.

"Well, her name – " He began, but she cut him off.

"Her? Eee! Dov met a girl!" She shrieked. In the background, Dov heard Sam's voice.

"Dov did what?" He called to Andy. Dov just laughed and continued.

"As I was saying, her name is Megan. And we're going out for coffee tonight."

"Coffee? Oh my gosh, coffee." She laughed. "No, seriously, I'm happy for you." Her voice took on an honest tone.

"Well, I've only known her for two days." He answered, sceptical.

"Whatever, Dov. Woman's intuition. Call me later?" Dov heard shuffling on Andy's side. "Sam, not now. Sam! I'm on the phone!" She was whispering.

"Too bad. Bye Dov!" Sam called.

"Sam!" She laughed.

"Just wear some garlic, vampy will stay off you." Dov laughed. There was some inaudible whispering.

"Yep. Bye Dov!" Andy said curtly, hanging up.

"Gross." He said, looking at his phone. He put his phone on the ground beside him and settled in for a nap.

An hour later, he woke up. The clock read seven thirty, so he got up and put on fresh clothes before hopping in his car and heading over to Megan's. He hopped out of his car and jogged around to the other side, leaning against the passenger door and flipped open his phone.

"Hello?" Her voice was quieter than normal.

"Hey, Megan. Guess where I am?" He was smiling. She sniffed a little and giggled.

"Where?" He could tell she was smiling.

"Outside your apartment. You ready to go?" He tried to guess which apartment she lived in.

"Yeah, about that. Look, Dov, I'm really sorry but – " She started to speak but lost her composure and a sob escaped her lips. "I just don't think I can." She whispered.

"Hey, hey, what's going on? Are you alright?" Dov let his voice go soft and his eyebrows knitted together, only to hear another muffled sob as she held the phone away from her. "Come on, Megan, talk to me."

"I'm fine, I just look like hell right now. But I'm fine." She breathed heavily.

"Can I come up?" He asked, not sure how she'd react. There was silence on the other end for a few seconds.

"I guess." She whispered. "The front door opens if you wiggle it a little. I'm 4A."

"I'll be up in a second, okay?" He started towards the door.

"Okay." She mewed. They hung up and it took Dov a few seconds to get the door open. After a little rattling, the door finally opened. He jogged up the stairs and located her door before knocking gently. With hesitance, she slowly turned the deadbolt and unhooked the chain before opening the door. Dov thought that he'd gotten a good look at her the night before, but seeing her standing in her doorway in daylight, he realized he'd missed a lot. She was stunning.

"Damn." He whispered as she stood before him, her eyes and nose red, dark hair piled on top of her had. She held her hands clasped underneath her chin, her dark eyes glistening with tears.

"I know. I'm sorry." She whispered, turning away and allowing unshed tears to fall. She ran to the sink in the kitchen and Dov followed after closing the door. He found his way to the kitchen to see her splashing cold water over her face. He walked up and leaned against the counter next to her, resisting the urge to comfort her physically.

"Why are you sorry?" He lowered his eyes to meet hers. "You didn't do anything." She paused mid splash. Dov sucked in a breath as he took her in. Small droplets of water clinging to her long eyelashes, her regularly dark blue eyes a light turquoise. A lock of hair matted to her parted lips, she was breathing heavily.

"We were supposed to get coffee. And now we're not, because I'm just, stupid." She refused to meet his eyes. He reached forward gingerly and brushed the hair out of her mouth.

"You aren't stupid. And so what, we don't get coffee. I didn't have my heart set on a Grande Americano with whipped cream; I just wanted to see you again." He smiled a little, and was rewarded with a timid giggle.

"Well still. We could actually still go, if you give me a minute to fix myself up." She straightened up and turned off the tap, he handed her a nearby dishtowel. Grateful, she patted her face dry.

"Don't worry about it. I have no problem just staying here, if you'd let me." Dov hinted.

"Well, we can I guess." She leaned against the counter.

"We could just, watch some movies?" He smiled.

"And you'd be good with that? Just lying on the couch, watching movies?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Over the past few months, it may or may not have become my favourite thing to do." He laughed.

"That sounds great." Her stance relaxed a bit. "Just, let me go change. I hate wearing jeans." She giggled and walked out of the room. He turned and looked out the window above the sink. _Why was she so upset? _And more importantly, _how can I fix it? _Dov pondered. He turned when he heard her pad softly back into the room.

"What?" She tilted her head, referring to his slight laughter.

"You have such tiny feet." He smiled.

"Hey! I'm just fun sized." She laughed. She beckoned him into the living room with her index finger and he followed like a lost puppy.

"So," She said, taking a seat near the end of the couch and tucking her legs up underneath her. "What do you wanna watch?"

"Lady's choice." Dov smiled as he sat down a few feet away from her.

"I hate that! I can never choose." She laughed. "How about something scary?"

"You like scary movies?" Dov raised his eyebrows.

"During the day, yes." She smiled, absently clicking through the never ending titles on the TV screen.

"Well, I'm down. Anything you like." He settled into the couch a bit more.

"'Rec'?" She turned to him. "It's Spanish with subtitles, but apparently it's really, _really _good." Dov nodded in agreement.

About a half hour into the movie, Megan had nearly jumped out of her skin four or five times. Another half hour and she'd slowly inched her way closer and closer to Dov, bit by bit. She was still about a foot away when again, she inhaled sharply and her hands flew to her mouth. Dov reached over and with ease lifted the small woman onto his lap. For a moment her body was still rigid with fright, but she quickly relaxed into him.

She had nearly drifted off when a sudden noise in the movie shocked her back awake. Dov chuckled a little and rubbed her arm gently.

By the time the movie was over, she had suffered through enough scares to last her quite some time.

"I do like scary movies, I really do; just not ones with zombie dogs and screaming ladies and… stuff." She laughed when the credits started to roll.

"I'll protect you. I eat zombie dogs for breakfast." Dov said with mock bravery. He felt her body shake with laughter against his.

"See, you are my hero." She nestled her head into the crook of his neck. Dov was surprised about how readily she'd warmed up to him, especially considering how distraught she was earlier.

"You feeling a bit better now?" He asked softly.

"Yeah. Yeah I am." She smiled up at him.

"Do you wanna tell me what was bothering you?" He asked even softer. She took a deep breath and hesitated a minute. "Don't tell me if you don't want to, okay? Only if you want."

"My mom is sick, and some days just hit me harder than others." She said quickly, quietly.

"I'm sorry, Megan. Is she going to be okay?" He was desperately afraid that he'd push her too far.

"Um," He could hear her voice getting a little weaker. "I hope so." She bit her lip. _Alright, that's enough for one day_ Dov thought. He hugged her a little tighter and rubbed her arms again.

"What do you want to do now?" He looked down at her.

"Coffee?" She propped herself up, smiling brightly.

"Sounds great." He smiled, as she reluctantly sat up and stretched. "Wait." Dov stopped her. "It's already like ten." He was grinning like a madman.

"What are you thinking?" She asked cautiously.

"Let's stay out all night." He smiled.

"I haven't done that since high school." She giggled.

"Keep the tradition alive!" Dov raised his fist in defiance, and was rewarded by an infectious laugh.

"But now I have to change again. I can't go out in public like this." She put her head back down on his chest, desperately looking for excuses as to why they shouldn't move.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you." The smell of her shampoo was overtook his senses, but he'd never loved the scent of strawberries more.

"From?" She laughed a little.

"All those men that you'd otherwise have to beat off with a stick." He said, straight faced. But when she began laughing harder, he lost it too. "I'm serious! I'm sure that you're used to the catcalls and whistles, though." She laughed harder.

"But you'll protect me?" She looked at him, head tilted to the side. He brushed her bangs out of her eyes and smiled.

"You can count on me. Hero, remember?" And by silent agreement, even though they'd only known each other for all of two days, they both knew that he wasn't just referring to that night. She smiled, glad that she'd let him in.


	5. Feeling at Home

Don't know what to say about this one. Too tired to write an authors note of any meaning. Reviews and Constructive Criticism pleaaaaaaaaaase. enjoy!

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Feeling at Home

"Dov!" Megan shrieked, trying to juggle two coffees and an overflowing sundae. Just as the sundae escaped the crook of her elbow and began it's descent to the sidewalk, he ran over and plucked it out of the air while he skilfully grabbed one coffee and balanced the other one on top.

"Whoa." Megan stood there, frozen in awe.

"Worked as a busboy in high school. It's how I roll." He raised one eyebrow. She laughed as they fell into step with each other. "Well? Now what? We got your coffee, anything else in particular that you wanna do?"

"Let's go stargazing." She smiled at him as she took her coffee back from him.

"Stargazing?" His eyes lit up. She nodded at him, still smiling.

"Yeah. I always used to when I was a kid. I lived in this tiny little town, it would get _so_ dark at night. It was perfect. We'd just lie on the front lawn and watch the stars until we fell asleep." She looked at the sky, as she did when she was a child.

"That sounds great. You know, one of my earliest childhood memories is hanging out with my Dad, watching a meteor shower. I was so amazed. The world seemed so big, I was so small." He smiled, reminiscing in happy memories.

"High Park?" She asked.

"That's like, a two hour walk!" He exclaimed.

"Oh well, look at me," She slapped her thigh. "I need the exercise."

"Oh you're a comedian now, huh?" Dov laughed, sliding his free hand around her tiny waist.

"It's how I roll." She mocked him, her tone light.

"Alright, your wish is my command. High Park it is." He smiled at her, and they continued down the street, keeping each other warm in the frigid night air.

Somehow, three hours later they finally found their way to the park. They'd finished their coffees a while ago, and Dov had taken to carrying Megan on his back.

"I can walk, you know." She whispered in his ear. Quickly, Dov spun on his heel, making her shriek with laughter.

"Nope. You don't need to walk." He smiled.

"But I – " She was cut off when he spun around again. "Okay!" She laughed. "Oh! Let's go that way, there's a bunch of picnic tables we can lie on." She pointed to the left.

"Yes, ma'am!" Dov laughed as he picked up his speed a little.

"Talk about save a horse, ride a cowboy." Megan laughed as she collapsed onto the picnic tables.

"Oh that's how it is?" Dov laughed as he climbed up beside her. Dov lay with his legs hanging off one end of the table, Megan laid with hers hanging off the other and when they lay back their heads were nearly beside each other.

"It's so nice out here at night." She mused, her voice soft.

"It's beautiful." Dov whispered. There was a quiet moment.

"Shooting star!" The both shrieked, pointing to the same spot in the sky. "Make a wish!" Megan said, closing her eyes. Dov put on his best cheesy porn star voice.

"Why? You're already here." He managed to keep a straight face. Megan, on the other hand, nearly rolled off the table in laughter.

"You're ridiculous, Dov." She laughed, finally settling down next to him again.

"I get that a lot." He smiled. A sudden shiver curled up Megan's spine and she shook accordingly.

"Do you wanna go somewhere warm?" Dov asked, chuckling. Without answering, she just got up, turned around and lay down next to him, her head in the crook of his neck.

"You're warm." She smiled, playing with the strings on his sweater.

"This is true." He reasoned, wrapping his arms around her small frame. The two lay in silence for an unknown amount of time before a quiet chuckle escaped her lips. "What?" He turned to look at her.

"There." She pointed at the stars to their left. "Columba."

"Oh yeah?" Dov asked, confused. She swatted his chest lightly, giggling.

"See? It has the two like, leg parts, and then the little crooked part?" She tried to describe the constellation. "Get this." She shifted a little and rolled onto her stomach so she could look him in the eyes. "That constellation, it's my favourite. When I was a kid, if I was ever scared, my Dad would tell me to find Columba. And the stars would keep me safe."

"It worked, I take it?" He smiled, his arms still around her.

"So far, so good. But that's not the funny slash weird part. Do you know what Columba translates to?" A smile crept up her lips.

"What?" He curled a fallen piece of hair around her ear.

"Dove. It's Latin for Dove." She laughed.

"What? No way. I don't believe you." He laughed, shaking his head.

"It's true! I'm serious!" She laughed, before letting her head fall down onto his chest. "Honestly, I'm not making this up."

"Well then, I guess me knocking your bag out of your hand last night must have been some kind of fate." He smiled at her.

"The good kind of fate." She whispered. Dov slid his hand up to her neck and gently pulled her down to him, kissing her softly. When they broke for air, a small mischievous smile appeared on her lips before she threw her leg over him and he pulled her down for another kiss. This one, however, was not sweet and lazy like the previous one. This kiss was full of passion, and heat.

"I wish we weren't in this damn park." She whispered after Dov rolled them over.

"I'm glad we're here. That way, we can't do anything we'll regret." He kissed her again, but she pulled away.

"You'd regret me?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"What? No! You'd regret me, wouldn't you? We've known each other two days… I didn't think you'd be into that." He cupped her face in his hand.

"It has only been two days, hasn't it?" She placed her hand over his and pursed her lips. "I always do this." She put her head back onto his chest.

"Do what?" He rubbed her arms again.

"I throw myself into something way too early, although this has got to be a record, and then I feel like an idiot. Because again, I'm left walking home, heels in hand. There's no reason for him to call me back after, why would he? Why would you? I'm a hook up. And it's pathetic." She said, ashamed.

"I would call you back." He said.

"Why? I'm just some chick with a sick Mom, and drinking problems. Why would you want to be a part of this?" She lifted her head again.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're a beautiful girl who is upset because her Mom is sick, and is not only getting help for her drinking problem, but she's saving me from mine too. I'd call you. I would definitely call you." He looked her in the eyes.

"Thanks, Dov." Her eyes closed and she replaced her head on his chest. "The only reason my parents stayed together was because of me. My Mom was a hook up. But then she got pregnant, so they just got married. They hate each other." She said absently.

"But they love you." He pointed out.

"But the only reason he ever called her back was because they were forever linked through another living, breathing thing." She'd clearly thought about this.

"But it was all because they love you." He repeated.

"You know, you're ri – " Her cell phone ringing cut her off.

"Who is calling you at one thirty in the morning?" He looked at her, eye brows raised.

"My friend Christine, apparently." She looked at her phone. "Weird." She flipped it open. "Hello? Christine, what? Listen to me, shush. You can't? We'll be there in a half hour. Okay, okay, bye." Her speech was choppy as she tried to understand her friend, frantically crying into the phone. "Can you do me a favour?" She looked at Dov.

"Sure." He propped them both up a little bit.

"Christine, her boyfriend just kicked her out and she needs me to watch her puppy. He's really sweet, his name is Aila. Would you mind coming with me? It's dark and scary, and she's been drinking." She blushed a little.

"I love puppies!" Dov wasn't sure why he was being so agreeable tonight.

"You're the best, Dov." She kissed him and then hopped off the table.

Christine's place was only about six blocks away, but they didn't need to be in front of the house to hear her crying.

"Oh, hell." Megan murmured. They rounded the corner to see a blonde woman standing at the bottom of the steps in front of her house with a small, wriggling puppy in her arms and luggage at her feet.

"Michael please! It didn't mean anything!" She screamed at the closed door. Megan and Dov jogged up to her. Megan took the puppy and handed it to Dov, who was quite happy playing with the small animal.

Megan grabbed Christine's shoulders.

"Christine, Christine. Look at me." She caught her friends eye. "What happened?" Christine started to cry again.

"I was drinking at the office party and the temp guy convinced me to go home with him. Michael hates me, what am I going to do?" She sobbed. Megan pulled her in tightly and held her while she cried for a few minutes.

"Honey, where are you staying tonight?" Megan spoke again.

"My mom is picking me up soon. But I can't take my Aila!" She cried loudly.

"Its fine, I'm going to take Aila okay? He'll be fine with me." She said softly.

"Okay." She cried, walking over to Dov, who was still holding the small Golden Retriever puppy. "My baby." She ran her thumbs over the puppy's ears and touched her nose to his. He licked her face, which made her cry even more. "What did I do?" She turned to Megan, who readily pulled her in for another hug.

"Its okay, Christine. Everything will be better in the morning." She said to her friend. Christine pulled away, and then turned to Dov. She hadn't even really noticed that he was there, she was too hysterical.

"Who are you?" She asked, walking towards him.

"Dov Epstein, ma'am." He replied curtly.

"I love you." She said to her puppy. "I love you too." She looked at Dov. Behind her, Megan was crumbling to pieces in a fit of laughter. Christine leaned forward and tried to kiss Dov, but he leaned backwards and dodged the drunken attempt.

"Christine, don't do something stupid." Megan laughed from behind them.

"That's a good idea." Christine said as her mother pulled up. Megan helped load her luggage into the truck and then hugged her goodbye.

"Thank you so much, you're wonderful." Christine kissed Megan square on the lips.

"Whoa, whoa girl. I'll see you later." Megan pushed her away and sat her down in the car. "Night, Karen." She said to her mother before closing the door and stepping back.

"Well, that was something." Dov said as they watched the car pull away.

"Definitely." Megan shook her head before turning to Dov. "So, why don't we call it a night? She didn't give us a leash, and I doubt you want to carry this little guy around all night." She started talking in a baby voice and she ruffled Aila's fir.

"Sure. Do you wanna come back to my place? I've got a yard he can run around in." Dov proposed.

"Uh, I guess yeah. If you don't mind, that is." She seemed a little nervous.

"Unless you just want to go home…" He let his voice linger.

"No, no. I don't. I just don't wanna mess this up." She looked at her feet. Dov shifted Aila into one arm and put his other one around her waist.

"You worry too much." With that, they began their long trek home.

It was nearly five AM by the time they reached Megan's house, and then drove back to Dov's. She'd grabbed a few things, in case she had to leave, but didn't think twice about collapsing into Dov's bed.

"I'm just going to let Aila out, okay? Be right back." Dov said, poking his head in the room.

"Okay." She said to the pillow. By the time he got back, she was asleep. He crawled in beside her and made sure not to invade her personal space, no matter how much he wanted to.

When he woke, sun was shining through the windows. She was curled up against him, and his arms were folded around her. He watched her for a minute, before closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep, happy.

When he woke the second time, she was missing from his bed. He furrowed his brow as he swung his feet over the edge and pulled himself out of the warm haven. He walked into the kitchen to find Megan standing over the sink, a cup of coffee in her hand. She was looking out into the backyard, smiling. He walked up behind her and slid his arms around her waist.

"Coffee?" She handed him another cup.

"Perfect." He kissed her on the cheek. He looked out into the backyard and saw what she was watching. Aila was lying on his back, wiggling around in the grass. She leaned back into him and they stood in silence for a few minutes.

A shock went flying up Dov's spine and his breath caught. His mind spun as a memory washed back into his grasp.

He was a little boy, not more than four. He had walked into the kitchen one morning to find his parents in their pajamas, with cups of coffee, holding each other while watching his older sister and their dog run around outside. The image was as clear as day in his mind. When he didn't shy away from the similarities of the situation, he realized that he might really be in trouble here.

"You okay?" She nudged him a little with her nose. He looked down at her, captivated by her deep blue eyes. Her freckles that were so gently sprinkled across her nose and her petite frame wrapped tightly in his arms made his stomach do flips.

"I, uh, I just," He exhaled. "I'm great." She ran her hand over his jaw line, trying to resist jumping him right there in the kitchen.

"I always wanted a puppy." She whispered. "They're so full of life."

"Well now you do, at least for the moment." He took a sip of his coffee.

"And what a great moment it is." She smiled.


	6. Connections

This one'll be finished pretty soon, I've got an idea for another fic already hehehe. Thanks for the reviews.

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**Connections**

"Alright, Christine. Go pound some water and get some sleep girl, I'll talk to you later." Megan sat on the arm of the couch next to Dov. "Love you too. Bye." She shook her head and closed her phone.

"Well?" Dov turned his body to face her.

"Mike won't take her back. He's _really _angry. And I guess I don't blame him, but she's so upset. Poor girl." She sighed.

"Poor Michael! I'd be heart broken if my girl ran off and slept with another guy." He relaxed into the couch and toyed with the seam on her jeans.

"Yeah, I guess. Oh, but the best part is, that she's stuck at her Mom's place for at least another week before she gets paid and can put down a deposit on a new apartment. So it looks like I've got Aila for a while longer." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, let's be honest. That's not such a bad thing." He nodded towards the corner of the room, where Aila had constructed a bed out of pillows and the armchair covers.

"Oh." Megan sighed, watching the pup sleep. "Isn't he the sweetest?" She clasped her hands together in her lap.

"I have to admit, I kind of love having him around here. This house has been pretty dead lately, I like having him running around, barking at nothing and chewing on my feet." Dov laughed. She looked at him with sweetness in her eyes, and he couldn't resist pulling her off of the arm of the couch and onto his lap. "And as much as I love you being around here too, I imagine you probably wanna go home. I doubt this is what you planned on when I asked you out for coffee." He chuckled.

"While that is true, it's really not a bad setup we've got going right now." She laughed before leaning up and kissing him sweetly.

"I've got to agree with you there." He smiled at her.

"However, you are right. I have so much laundry to do." She sighed and fell backwards onto the couch. He let his hands rest on her stomach. "But I don't want to do it. I'm so lazy." She stretched out her arms and arched her back, yawning.

"Just think about how comfy all your clean clothes will be." He laughed, poking her in the side.

"But what about Ay? I can't just leave him here with you." She pointed out. "He should be fine at my place, right?"

"Or, here's another crazy idea: leave him with me, and come back later? Or tomorrow, or next week or whenever you want?" He smiled brightly.

"That definitely works too. How about, I'll go home and take care of everything, and try to come back tonight?" Megan mused.

"Sure. Oh, but I've got a meeting with my Sergeant at six until God knows when." He sat up.

"Well when all's said and done, I'll probably be back around seven…" She giggled as Aila squealed in his sleep.

"Well, here." Dov reached into his pocket and slid a spare key off the key ring. "I will give this to you, as long as you promise not to A, break into my house and steal things or B, scare me while I'm sleeping." The playful smile on his face set her at ease.

"You're giving me a key to your house, three days after we met?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I know, I know, I'm kind of being impulsive and acting out of character. But from what I can tell, you're a good person and we need to make sure Aila's okay, so I'm trusting you." He handed her the key, and she closed her fingers around it. It felt strange to be holding a key to a man's home, especially one that she'd just met. But as her eyes travelled up to meet his, the idea grew on her. She could get used to this.

"You can count on me. No breaking in and going all psycho bitch, and probably no scaring you while you're sleeping." She smiled mischievously.

"Probably?" Dov raised his eyebrows.

"A girl's gotta have a little fun." She poked him in the side, and in an instant he was on her, tickling her like there was no tomorrow. "Dov!" She shrieked, swatting at his hands. "Stop! Dov!" She laughed hysterically.

"Only if you promise you won't scare me!" He laughed, a huge smile on his face.

"Never!" She laughed.

"You did this to yourself!" He sang as he kept tickling her. A few more seconds of laughter and she gave in.

"Okay! Okay! Fine! You win!" She laughed, her arms wrapped around her stomach. He leaned up a little bit, and before he could initiate anything her hands were clutching the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer. He kissed her fiercely, and a near inaudible moan that escaped her lips proved that she was thinking the same thing he was.

After a few minutes, the two had only broken apart to gasp for air, before one would pull the other back in.

"Why is it, that tickle fights always lead to make out sessions?" Megan laughed breathlessly, as Dov began kissing her neck.

"No idea, but I really wish we'd met before three days ago." He laughed as he slid his hands around her back and she threaded her fingers through his dark hair.

"Just think, in four more days, it'll have been a week." She smiled as Dov leaned up and touched his nose to hers.

"Yeah, but then how much longer? We should wait longer than a week, right?" He rolled them over so she was lying on his chest.

"I guess." She pursed her lips and bent her legs, so her feet were in the air. She swayed them back and forth lightly and rested her head in her hands on Dov's chest. "I don't like waiting for things." She added quietly.

"Tell me about it." He laughed, running his hands over her back. She really was a tiny woman. He realized it when they'd first met, but he was still pleasantly surprised at how well she fit in his arms.

"Holy SHIT! What the – " Her eyes went wide as something licked her foot. Once the initial shock wore off, she smiled brightly as Aila stumbled up her back and then fell over her shoulder and landed next to Dov's head.

"Hello puppy." Dov scrunched up his face as Aila licked his nose.

"I should probably take him out. And, we need puppy food. We can't keep feeding him that stuff that we got from your neighbour. It smells funny." She tilted her head to the side.

"Yeah. Why don't you take him out and I'll run to the store quickly?" He scratched the puppy's head.

"Sounds good. I think I'm gonna take a quick shower, too." It was more of a question than a statement. They had grown remarkably close, but she still knew she was a guest in his home.

"Go for it. Andy left some shampoo and conditioner and other, you know, girl things here." He laughed, waving a hand dismissively.

"Andy?" Megan raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, she's the friend that stayed with me while her fiancé was under." Dov explained.

"Ah, I see." She nodded and splayed her hands out on his chest, trying to convince herself that waiting is for the best.

"Actually, she might stop by later, so you can meet her." He smiled. "I know she wants to meet you." He laughed. Butterflies erupted in her stomach. '_He told his friends about me!_' She was happy that he liked her enough to talk about her with friends.

"I'd love to meet her. Well, do you wanna get going?" She asked. Aila squeaked as he somersaulted onto Dov's chest.

"I think that's a good idea." Dov laughed. Megan stood up and took Aila in her arms. Dov kissed her and then the puppy.

"I'll see you two shortly." He said before slipping on his shoes and jogging out to his car.

It was about a half hour later when he returned to find Megan chasing Aila around the house clad in a towel.

"Well what do we have here?" He said, leaning against the doorframe in the kitchen, watching Megan try to coax the small dog out from under the table. A flush rose up over her neck.

"He stole my underwear." She laughed. "Come on Aila, bring it here." She spoke with a baby voice. She sighed when the dog just growled playfully and continued to chew on her white thong.

"Aila, here." Dov pointed at the ground next to him. The pup poked his head out from under the table, and slowly made his way over to Dov. He knelt down and with ease extracted her underwear from the dog's mouth. Laughing, he handed them back.

"I believe this would be yours." He grinned. She blushed like crazy as she timidly reached out and took her undergarment back.

"You're loving this, aren't you?" She crossed her arms, but smiled.

"A little bit. Now go put on some clothes woman, or this waiting thing just isn't gonna happen." Dov laughed. She purposely brushed her hand against his stomach as she passed him, her soaking dark hair spiralling down her back, and squealed when he swatted her on the rear. "That was just mean!" He called out, laughing.

She put on her clothes and dried her hair as best she could, before saying goodbye.

"I'll see you tonight." She kissed him. He held Aila with one arm and lifted his paw to wave good bye.

"Bye, Megan." He smiled. A cab pulled up and she waved goodbye again, before hopping in and the car pulled away.

He turned back into the house and brought Aila into the bathroom with him while he showered. The rest of the day went by faster than he would have liked. He lazed around in his boxers for a while, did some dishes, and mostly just waited for Megan to come back. Usually, this early in a relationship, if that's even what they were in, he was just testing the water. Getting a feel for the girl. But in this case, it seemed they'd both just thrown themselves head first into whatever this was.

The clock struck five thirty and he knew he had to head out for his meeting with Frank. He sighed heavily as he built Aila a makeshift pen that kept him in the kitchen while no one was home. He did a onceover of the house and then grabbed his things and left.

It was six fifteen when Megan pulled up in front of Dov's place in her newly repaired car. She pulled out the key to his house and smiled as she turned it in the lock and pushed the door open. Aila greeted her at the door, tail wagging.

"Awe hey cutie. Did you get out of your pen?" She knelt down and talked to the pup, nearly jumping out of her skin when another voice spoke.

"Actually, that was me…" She looked up to see another woman leaning against the kitchen table. Megan stood.

"Andy?" She asked, Aila squirming in her arms.

"And you must be Megan. Hey." Andy smiled, walking up to her. "Here, let me take something." Megan gratefully handed her a grocery bag.

"Thank you." She sighed as the two women walked into the kitchen. "So, you're the infamous Andy." She laughed. "Dov talks about you a lot."

"I hope that's a good thing!" She giggled as she started putting groceries away.

"It is, it is. He says you two are pretty close." Megan smiled at her.

"Well, he's my best friend for sure. He's amazing, he really is. I was so upset when he started to drink." She leaned back against the counter, clearly meaning what she said. "He saved me. No doubt about that."

"He said, you were really beating yourself up because he couldn't stop drinking." Megan responded softly.

"Yeah, well, I still feel guilty about it." Andy shook her head.

"It's not your fault, you know." She pointed out. "Dov made that very clear to everyone at the meeting." Andy just laughed.

"He really is something, huh?" She curled her hair behind her ear.

"I'll say. I've known him three days, and he's already babysitting my friend's puppy and given me a key to his house. It's a bit crazy, but at the same time, I haven't thought about having a drink once since we met." She smiled. "It seems he's pretty good at saving people."

"You have no idea how true that is." She smiled.

The two chatted for a few hours, and got along extremely well. Better than either of them had thought, actually. They took Aila for a walk and shared many stories about Dov and his antics. They were just turning back into the driveway when Dov pulled up. He got out of the car and jogged up in between them, sliding his arms around both their waists. He kissed Andy on the cheek before kissing Megan on the lips, as he had earlier.

"Now who's being mean?" She laughed. He winked at her.

"How'd it go, Dov?" Andy took Aila from Megan, who smiled gratefully as she struggled with her keys.

"Good! He says I've got two more weeks recovery time, then I'm back in. Provided I pass the physical and the psych, that is." He smiled.

"That's great, Dov!" She hugged him. "Trace, Gail and Chris might stop by later on, is that okay?"

"Definitely, I miss those kids. Where's Sam?" He slid his arms around Megan and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I missed you." He whispered in her ear.

"He's at the Penny. I'm just gonna meet him at home later." She smiled at the mention of Sam.

"You guys set a date yet?" He raised his eyebrows, and she smiled even brighter.

"Eleven eleven eleven." She smiled. "I know, I know. But I get to be superstitious on my wedding day!"

"I still can't believe you two are getting _married._" He laughed.

"Me either! But I'm so excited; we've actually already booked the venue." She smiled. "Me and Trace are going dress shopping next month." Excitement twinkled in her eyes.

"Sam proposed to her while he was under." He explained to Megan.

"Oh my God! That's so, knight in shining armour." She laughed.

"Tell me about it!" The two laughed. "Hey, where's that little dog of yours?" Andy started to look around. "Oh, one sec. Living room!" She smiled as she got down on all fours and crawled over to Aila.

"She's pretty great, hey?" Dov smiled.

"Honestly, she's really easy to get along with. I was surprised." Megan admitted. "She's really, really pretty."

"You're prettier." He whispered.

"Oh whatever, you're just saying that." She swatted him on the arm.

"You need to give yourself more credit!" He laughed, kissing her neck. She laughed before turning around to face him and kissing him back. He pressed his forehead to hers and looked at the floor. A small chuckle escaped his lips.

"What?" She laughed.

"Your feet are so tiny." He smiled, kissing her on the cheek. She laughed and swatted him playfully again, before curling her arms around his neck. He'd just leaned in for another kiss when the front door opened.

"WE'RE HAVING A BABY GIRL!" Chris' voice boomed through the house.

"What?" Andy shrieked, running to him and jumping into his arms. "Congratulations!" She then turned to Gail, who was positively glowing. "Gail!" The two women screamed and hugged.

"Care to meet the gang?" He smiled at her, and took her hand. They'd gotten to the doorway when Megan stopped dead in her tracks.

"Chris?" She gasped, her eyes wide. The tall man turned to look at her, and his face mirrored hers before it broke into a huge smile.

"Megan?" He walked over to her.

"What?" She shrieked.

"What?" He laughed in disbelief. He picked her up and spun her around.

"Am I missing something here?" Dov laughed before he slid his arms around Megan's waist. Chris didn't answer him, he just stared at Megan, smiling.

"Wow, how weird is this? How've you been, Little One?"

The rest of the rookies stood with confusion splayed across their faces.

"Dov," Megan laughed. "Chris was my neighbour in my hometown. We grew up together."

"Some kind of fate." Dov laughed.


	7. Truths

Dun dun dun. R U READY?

* * *

Truths

"Jesus, how did this even like," Chris was still speechless. "Happen? This is too crazy."

"I know!" Megan laughed. Gail walked up next to Chris and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Gail." She smiled brightly. Megan let the news from earlier sink in; her childhood friend was going to be a father.

"It's so nice to meet you. What a coincidence, hey?" She held her hand out for Gail to shake, but instead Gail pulled her in for a hug. "Congratulations, you guys!" Megan smiled.

"Yeah, really!" Dov walked up to Megan and again, took her in his arms. "A baby girl. This is insanity. It feels like just yesterday when I caught you two making out in the squad car." He spoke with mock sentimentalism.

"Yeah, ha-ha. That was a just hilarious." Chris' voice was heavy with sarcasm. "So, you two, hey?"

"It looks that way." Dov smiled and kissed her ear.

"Columba." She smiled.

"For real! Oh man, I remember that." Chris laughed.

"Come on, let's sit." Dov guided the conversation over to the living room, where everyone made themselves comfortable. Dov, Megan, Chris and Gail on the couch, Andy on the floor with Aila and Traci still hadn't arrived.

"So, what's new with the coppers of fifteen?" Dov asked.

"Nothing really. It's been quiet since that last bust." Chris said. Gail slapped his arm, which was draped around his shoulders.

"Chris! You're going to jinx it." She said.

"Sorry, sorry. I mean, it's tough. Life at the station is tough." He corrected himself.

Small talk ensued for about an hour, before someone suggested a movie.

"Nothing scary!" Megan squealed.

"I'll protect you." Dov wrapped his arms around her and gave a corny smile. Chris wasn't even a little used to seeing his childhood friend and Dov together, it made his stomach churn a little. He remembered her as the little girl she was before she moved away, and now here she was; a young and admittedly beautiful woman, who was now kissing his friend Dov on the couch.

"Okay, maybe something a little scary. Only cause you're here though, right Dov?" She giggled.

"SPLICE!" Andy shrieked, pointing at the screen. "That looks so creepy."

"If I go into labour because this is too scary, I'm going to kill you all." Gail pointed around the room.

"Relax, Gail. You're not even five months in." Dov laughed.

"It can happen! You watch yourself before I come over there and my baby girl kicks you in the head." She lost her composure half way through and started to laugh.

"Like mother like daughter, huh?" He laughed.

Andy queued up the movie and soon the house was enveloped in silence. About half way through, Chris poked Dov on the shoulder. The two women in their arms were terrified, with their wide eyes glued to the screen.

"Can I talk to you a minute?" He whispered. Dov nodded back and kissed the soft skin behind Megan's ear.

"I'll be right back, okay babe?" He whispered to her. She nodded absently, and he got up and followed Chris out the front door. Once alone and shivering in the night air, Chris turned to him with genuine concern in his eyes.

"How'd you meet her?" He asked.

"We go to the same meetings. Why?" Dov didn't understand the urgency in his friend's voice.

"I need you to be careful with her. Please." He looked him dead in the eyes. Dov didn't know what, but Chris was obviously worried.

"What is going on, Chris?" His voice took on a demanding tone.

"She is just, she's really, are you sure you are ready for a relationship?" He ran his fingers through his hair.

"I don't even know if she wants a relationship. If she does, I'm right there. I'm totally ready for this." He nodded furiously.

"Dov, there is so much going on with that girl. She seems so small and innocent, but you can pack a lot of hurt and fear into a tiny little package." Chris couldn't stand still.

"Tell me what is going on." He touched his pointed index finger to Chris' shoulder.

"When we were little, we were the best of friends. Denise hated her growing up because she always thought I liked Megan more than her. Dov, we were inseparable." He began. "She was about thirteen, and I noticed a change in her. I didn't know why, I was just a little kid too, but it worried me, and I told my mom. Then, after that, she moved in with us for a little while. I didn't get it then, but now looking back, it all makes sense." He leaned in and lowered his voice. "Dov, her Dad beat her Mom senseless. I don't know if he ever hit her, and I pray that he didn't, but it was bad. He went to jail, supposed to be for three years. But someone killed him while he was in there."

"Oh my God." Dov shook his head.

"Yeah. So then, she moved back in with her Mom when she could take care of her again, and then it was them and her older brother. Older brother was just like Dad. Living at home when he was twenty six, he hit the bottle really hard, hit them harder." He clenched his jaw as he spoke. "So her and her Mom left. Just packed up and they were gone one day. Every now and then, we'd get a letter from them. And she'd always draw a little dove next to her name at the end to let me know she was okay."

"Columba. She said her Dad taught her that." He nodded.

"My Dad taught us that." Chris laughed. "We got lost one night, in this field. And when Dad finally found us, we had totally given up finding our way home and we were just stargazing. And he showed it to us. He said it would always point us in the right direction."

"I had no idea." He said in disbelief. "She seems fine, except her Mom is sick."

"Oh Jesus. Yeah, her Mom was diagnosed with cancer a few years back."

"So basically, it's just been one big hell hole for her here?" Dov exhaled sharply. "Damnit."

"What?" Chris looked in through the window next to the door to make sure that the girls were okay.

"How the hell am I supposed to take care of her? God knows I want to, but, I'm never going to be able to support her like she needs." He ran his hands through his hair.

"No, no Dov I didn't say that. All I'm saying is that, if things get rough, she tends to turn back to the booze. You've just gotta keep an eye on her." Chris assured him.

"I'm not even supposed to know this stuff; I've only known her for three days." He shook his head, still in shock.

"You've only known her for three days? Yet, you two have a puppy together and I saw my old house key on her key ring?" Chris raised an eyebrow.

"It's her friend's puppy; we're just watching him here. I'm fine with it, she's fine with it, and the dog likes it." He shrugged his shoulders.

"So you gave her a house key?" Chris' hands moved to his hips.

"Should I not have given it to her?" Dov responded, the question more rhetorical than anything.

"Just, don't you think you're moving a little fast?" He pointed out.

"I don't know. Technically, yeah. Technically, definitely yeah. But what am I supposed to do? It's pretty obvious as to how we feel about each other. I can't just let all this go. Especially not now." It was clear that Dov had a lot on his mind.

"This is crazy." Chris shook his head. "I just feel sick about this."

"What?" Dov looked at his friend.

"This gives me a bad feeling. Like, I'm unsettled about the whole thing." He shook his head.

"We're men, Chris. We don't get butterflies when something's going on." Dov spoke condescendingly.

"Come on, man." The heavy mood lifted. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, whatever, Christina." Dov laughed. Inside, all three girls screamed. "Alright, I think that's our queue to enter."

"Onward." Chris opened the door for Dov. When they re-entered the living room, they laughed at the sight of the three women curled up next to each other on the couch. Andy was covering Gail's eyes, who was holding onto Megan's arm while Megan hugged a pillow and Aila sat on the floor in front of them.

"What would you do without us?" Chris laughed as he sat down in between Gail and Andy, sliding his arms around both of them.

"Shut up, Chris!" Andy whispered, her eyes never leaving the screen. Dov, who said nothing, slid in next to Megan and enveloped her in his newly strengthened arms.

Just met or not, he was hell bent on protecting her, just as he'd promised. No matter what lengths he had to go to, or what measures he had to take.

The movie came to a close, but everyone was already asleep, including Aila. All uncomfortably sprawled across the couch, limbs bent unnaturally in positions that were sure to cause pain the next day. But all through the night, all five were content and safe in another's arms and the sun rose quickly.

"Shit, what time is it?" Chris' voice broke the silence. Gail stirred in his arms, eventually opening one eye.

"Breakfast time." The hunger that came with pregnancy had set in full force. Without opening her eyes, Andy reached up and dragged her hand across Chris' face, making him scrunch up his nose in response.

"No. Sleep." She said, her speech distorted by the fact that her head was resting on Chris' knee. At that moment, Aila woke and stretched into Andy's side, which in return caused Andy's leg to extend, effectively winding Dov.

"Andy, Jesus." He pushed her foot away. "Good morning to you too." He grumbled.

Megan laughed as she opened her eyes.

"Never a dull moment." She smiled. "Morning." She said to Dov. He answered her with a tender kiss and hugged her close. "Sleep well?" He stretched out his neck and winced at the tightness in his muscles.

"I guess." He laughed.

"I'll be right back." She smiled, picking up Aila and letting him into the backyard. Dov watched her leave, and rolled off of the couch to follow her, but was caught by a pointed look from Chris.

"Careful." He whispered. Dov nodded before proceeding out the back door.

"How was your sleep?" He rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Pretty okay, I suppose." She giggled. "I have no idea how Andy ended up the way she did though, because I swear I woke up last night, and she was practically on top of me." She laughed.

"Yeah, she has a tendency to search for a warm body at night." He laughed. "So, how are you doing?" He crossed his arms over her chest possessively.

"Me? I'm fine." She brushed off the concern in his voice. "How are you doing?" She turned around to face him, threading her fingers through his hair.

"Better when you're around." He smiled, kissing her forehead. He laughed a little and pulled her in for a hug.

"What are you laughing about now?" She asked, laying her head on his shoulder.

"It just amazes me how well you fit into my arms. It makes me happy." He near whispered, making her stomach do flips.

"Fate." She whispered. She only pulled away when she felt little paws scratching at the back of her legs. "Ay-wa. What are you doing, little guy?" She lifted the puppy into her arms, and cradled him in her arms like she would a baby. "You are too cute."

"He is, isn't he?" Dov smiled and scratched the puppy's belly.

"I was talking," She looped one index finger through his belt loop and pulled his hips into hers. "About you." The words floated into his ears, shooting chills up his spine.

"Now whose being mean?" He called after her.

"Are you coming?" She laughed. He turned his head and smiled at her.

"In a second." His voice was a little huskier than expected. She shattered into a fit of laughter, and continued inside. Less that five seconds later, she stuck her head back out.

"Dov, do they have to work today?" He turned around to face her.

"Yeah, we should get them up." He sighed, jogging over to her and very thankful that she'd only grabbed his belt loop and nothing else.

"How do you wanna do this?" She asked once they were standing in the living room. "And how did her lipstick not smudge at all?" She pointed to Gail.

"No idea." He said, walking over to the rookies. Andy was sitting, slouched at the end of the couch. Chris had his head on her stomach, and Gail was on top of him.

"You guys really are like family, huh?" She laughed.

"You have no idea." He smiled. "Guys, it's ten." He said. When no one answered, he poked Chris in the side of the head and said it again. "Ten o'clock, kids. Work starts in like, forty five minutes. Get up!" He tried again with no avail. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a class of water. From the doorway, he tossed the water and managed to hit all three rookies.

"What the hell!" Chris yelled, with Andy following suit.

"We're going to be late!" Gail shrieked. With that, the three jumped off the couch and began racing around Dov's house trying to get ready with what they had on them, knowing there wasn't enough time to go home.

"I'll start breakfast." Megan laughed, returning to the kitchen. After draining Dov's hot water tank and eating his food, the three departed.

"Bye Dov! I'll miss you!" Gail yelled from the car as it pulled away. "Nice meeting you, Megan!" She added on.

Once the two were back inside and finished cleaning up, Megan's phone rang. After a few minutes, she hung up and turned to Dov.

"I've gotta go. Someone, broke into my house." She shook her head and tried to stay calm.

"I'll come with you." He took a step towards her.

"No, no. It's okay, you stay here." She touched his arm. "Someone has to watch Ay. I'll be fast, or I'll try to, okay?" She kissed him on the cheek and hurried out the door.

"Okay." He said quietly from the door. After pacing for a few minutes, then grabbing some food, he flipped open his phone.

"Chris, what happened at Megan's today?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" His friend responded.

"She just got a call saying someone had broken in." He more asked than anything else.

"Hold on." Chris tapped away on a keyboard before snapping the phone back up and stuttering. "Dov, we don't have anything in the system about a break in at her place, or any place for that matter." His voice was filled with concern.

"Shit. Meet me there?" He flew out of his chair and towards his car, barely stopping to grab shoes.

"I'll get the address off the computer. See you in a bit." He hung up.

The two men pulled up in front of Megan's apartment building at exactly the same time. After a race up the stairs, fumbling with the door and continuing to 4A, they came to a worrisome conclusion.

"She's not here?" Chris breathed, out of breath.

"What the hell?" Dov asked, pushing the door open. Everything looked fine. Nothing was missing as far as he could tell, the dishes were done, and it looked like it had when he was there.

"Here." Chris grabbed a note off of the table. "Dov and Chris." He began. "How did she know it would be us? What the hell?" He asked, as Dov snatched the note from him.

"Back in a few hours. Megan." He read. "What? That doesn't make any sense." He furrowed his brow. "I don't get it."

"Damnit." Chris breathed.

"What?" Dov looked at him, his eyes wide.

"Look." Chris pointed to her signature, well, more the blank spot beside her signature. "Where's Columba?"

"What?" Dov asked.

"Dov, there's no Columba."


	8. That Empty Feeling

next one, coming up. i think this may be second to last chapter, or third to last. not toooo much more involved. school is crazy, people are insane, life is absolutely mad right now; so i dont know when ill get my next fic up.

thanks for all the reviews and support!

* * *

That Empty Feeling

"Okay, we need to get to the station _right_ now." Dov said, leading the way down the front steps. He'd tried to call her, but after they found her ringing cell phone on the kitchen counter, they'd bounded back out the front door.

"Dov, you can't be involved in this officially." Chris caught him by the arm.

"What? Let's go." He brushed him off.

"No, Dov. Best is never gonna let you in on this. You were off, involved in and off duty shooting in a place you were never supposed to be, and then you…" He trailed off. "You haven't passed any of the evals, man. He's not going to let you do anything."

"It's worth a shot, Chris. We have to figure out what's going on." He shook his head, continuing towards the car.

"Look, we all know you're a great cop. But maybe it's best if you hang around here, or at your place. I swear, Dov, I will call you as soon as we hear anything at all." His voice was sympathetic.

"Chris, you know I can't do that." He said, exasperated.

"Dov, I'm serious. We both know that it's a conflict of interest, and we both know that you'll be better off at home, helping us out from there and waiting for her, just in case she comes back."

"But – " Dov was silenced by a pointed look from Chris.

"Go home, take care of that puppy. We know that if she goes anywhere, it'll be your house." Chris looked his friend dead in the eyes.

"Fine." Dov whispered. He turned and walked around his car and paused after opening the door. "Chris, you call me if you hear anything, understand?"

"You got it." He nodded and waved his friend off, before jogging to his squad car and taking off.

Dov reached his apartment and his breathing still had not settled. Each intake of air was jagged and abrasive, and Aila knew something was wrong as soon as he pulled himself through the front door.

"It's okay little puppy," He whispered as Aila scratched at his feet. "It's okay buddy. She's gonna be fine." He lifted the dog off of the floor and carried him over to the couch. "She'll be fine." His voice was raspy as he tried to calm himself.

This had never happened to him before. He'd never lost someone that was so close to him, someone that he'd been so attached to.

"What am I supposed to say, Aila?" He rested his head in his hands. "I don't know why this has me so freaked out. Well, I do. But this badly? I just met her." He shook his head. Aila let out a small squeak as he rolled over in Dov's lap, and he began conversing with the dog. "No, Aila. I shouldn't feel like this."

Aila chewed on his paw.

"Yeah, I know. I should be out, looking for her! Not sitting on my ass, waiting for someone else to do the work that I was born to do." He leaned back and spoke to the ceiling.

The golden retriever puppy wiggled his way upright and began to sniff around the collar of Dov's shirt.

"What?" He looked down at the dog. Aila continued to sniff around furiously, prompting Dov to take a whiff himself. The scent that wafted into his nose made his stomach ache with ferocious intensity.

"Damnit." He ran his hands through his hair. "Her shampoo." Aila licked the area of the shirt around his fingers. "Yeah. She does smell good, hey?" He laughed, as the scent of strawberries lingered around him.

He stayed on the couch for an undetermined amount of time, unmoving. His head resting on the back of the couch, Aila chewing on his hand, he let his mind slip away, leaving him peacefully oblivious to the current situation.

He was drawn back from the abyss by the piercing ring of his cell phone. Jerking his head back up, he flipped his phone open.

"Gail? What's going on?" He spoke quickly.

"No luck tracking her down so far. We've already contacted her mother, who actually isn't doing so well. We thought she may have headed out to London to meet her, but Ms. Hayes hasn't heard a thing from her daughter." Gail reported.

"Hell." Dov sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

"Because there's no definite evidence of an abduction or trouble at the apartment, Best isn't letting us put all of our manpower on it. I know it's hard to sit idly by, Dov, but it's for the best. We'll find her." Her voice was sincere.

"I hope you're right. Thanks for filling me in, Gail." He did his best to express how much he appreciated her.

"You know it, Dov. I'll call back in a while. Get some sleep or something." Her voice took on a sweet, feminine tone that he wasn't used to.

"Wait, Gail, how did you – " His back straightened a little.

"Chris told me. Hang in there, kiddo." He could hear her voice rise a bit as she smiled.

"You're only a month older than – " He began to protest, but she'd already hung up.

"She's only a month older than me." He looked at Aila. "It's true." The pup tilted his head to the side. "Outside?" Aila jumped a little. "Wanna go for walk, puppy?" Dov said in an excited voice. Aila jumped off the couch and started to run in a small circle. "Come on, puppy." Dov jumped off of the couch and jogged into the kitchen, looking for his jacket.

When he turned around, he realized that he didn't have a leash for the pup.

"Damn, Ay. What have we got around here?" He started digging through drawers, searching for something to act as a leash. He'd moved in many, many months ago, but a lot of household objects still hadn't found their permanent place. He skimmed through the few plastic bags scattered along the counter, mostly filled with the groceries Megan had picked up the day before.

"What?" He said to himself as he reached into one of the bags and retrieved a thin blue leash. "I guess she thought of this first, huh?" He smiled at Aila, who was wagging his tail impatiently. Dov leaned down and hooked up the leash to Aila's feminine collar, and led the dog out of the house.

He walked past the coffee shop they'd gone to on Yonge, past Christine's place, and finally back to High Park. The sun was high up, hiding behind some thin wispy clouds but the air was cold enough to make Dov's ears ache.

"Almost there, buddy." Aila's youthful energy had faded and he was now practically sleep walking behind Dov. "It's right over here." He said as he rounded the corner and continued towards the picnic tables. When they finally reached them, Dov lifted Aila up onto the table and then sat down beside him. Dov lay on his back and the exhausted puppy clamoured onto his chest before collapsing onto him and falling asleep. Dov stroked the puppy's soft fur as he stared at the sky and did his best to lose himself in the clouds. He closed his eyes and breathed in the cold, crisp winter air and said a silent prayer that she'd be back soon, safe and sound.

It was nearly two hours later when Dov opened his eyes again, swirling blue tornadoes, greeted by the now cloudy sky. To his relief, Aila was still curled up on his chest. He sat up, and the small dog fell backwards into his waiting arms. Aila yawned and rubbed a paw over his face, squeaking a little.

"You seem to get a bit bigger everyday, little dog." He smiled as he scratched the dog's belly. "Let's go home, bud."

He hopped off of the table and put Aila on the ground next to him. After a few steps with less than regular conviction, Dov picked up the still exhausted dog and began carrying him.

Whether it was the icy air, the weight on his mind or the fact that alcohol had not been a part of his life for a little less than a week, he was immune to the effects of long walks. His legs were fine; his asthma was nowhere to be heard of. He knew he should be exhausted, especially because he hadn't really eaten that day, but that didn't stop him from walking back to her apartment.

As he made his way up the front steps, a man was leaving. He caught the door but paused before he entered.

"Hey, do you know Megan Hayes?" He asked, turning back to the man.

"Megan? In 4A, right?" The man nodded and tilted his head. "Yeah, what about her?"

"I'm a good friend of hers, and she seems to have just up and left without telling anyone." Dov shifted Aila in his arms. "Do you have any idea of where she might have gone?"

"I know she got here this morning looking pretty dishevelled. After that, I heard some talking, and then her door slammed and I haven't heard from her since." The man turned to face Dov a bit more.

"Wait, you heard talking? What did it sound like?" He let the door fall and he walked down the stairs to meet the man. "Did it sound angry, or rushed? Loud, quiet, man, woman?" He switched into cop mode.

"Um, um," the man stuttered a bit, "I think it was a man. I don't know how to explain it; it was like a normal conversation. But I remember she opened the door she didn't scream, but her voice was louder than normal. She just said 'what the hell?' and then it was quiet again while they talked."

"Anything else happen?" Dov prodded.

"Nope, that was it. Sorry, man." Dov turned away. "Wait, is she okay?" The man's voice showed genuine concern. Dov held up his crossed fingers and smiled a contrived smile before jogging back up the steps and proceeding to her apartment.

Timidly, he pushed open the door. Nothing had changed to the best of his knowledge, but that didn't stop him from searching a little.

As to why there wasn't police tape up, and the CSU wasn't there, he had no idea. He flipped open his phone.

"Chris, hey." He began. "I'm at Megan's. Where's CSU?"

"Double homicide across town, wicked bus crash a few miles outside the city. We're swamped today, Dov. Best couldn't spare the resources." Chris was clearly upset by the decision.

"You're kidding me!" Dov's fist made contact with the kitchen counter. "Whatever. A guy said she heard Megan talking with someone when she got home this morning. Said she was startled when she opened the door, they talked, door slammed, and she was gone." He recapped as he began aimlessly opening and closing cupboards.

"Well, is there anything that looks out of place?" Chris asked.

"Not so far, not that I can see, at least." He said, closing another cabinet and walking into the living room.

"Well, there has to be something, anything." Chris insisted.

"Well, I – " His sentence was cut short when he opened a cabinet next to the couch.

"Dov? What?" Chris' ears perked up.

"Nothing." Dov whispered as he pulled a half empty bottle of tequila out, and rolled it over in his hand. "Look, Chris, I – " He was cut off by a loud voice in the background, followed by movement on Chris' end.

"Shit, Dov, I gotta go." He hung up. Dov sighed and retreated to the couch, bottle still in hand.

"She said she was done with this." He said to Aila, who was sitting under the table. "It's her fourth week of her fourth try. Why does she have this?" He placed the bottle on the coffee table with more than the necessary force. "I'm sober, because I wanted to help her get sober. And then, I find tequila in her house?" He raised his voice a little. Not because he was angry, but because he felt betrayed.

He grabbed the bottle, grabbed Aila, and headed home with a scowl plastered on his face. He got in, grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and poured himself a drink. Sitting down at the dining room table, he slammed the glass down in front of him and stared at it. To drink, or not to drink.

He'd never felt so betrayed. As much as he wanted her back, he had no idea how he would bring this up with her, and he knew that he had to.

His fingers wrapped around the cool glass, and held his gaze steady. He had a lot to think about. And as he raised the glass to his lips, he mentally prepared himself for what was sure to be a long, hard night.


	9. You Can Search,

Second last chapter, right here! Thanks all for your reviews.

* * *

You Can Search,

The twisting of the doorknob caused Dov's eyes to flick in that direction. He let the liquid trickle away from his lips and set the glass down. If it was her, she'd let herself in. Right?

His breath caught in his throat and as he stood, the world seemed to stop. The silence shattered along with his hopes when a voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"Dov, open up. I know you're there." A gruff voice mumbled. Shaking off the pieces of disappointment, he opened the door to reveal a grumpy looking Sam Swarek.

"What's up?" He tried to hide the sheer frustration that was near engulfing him.

"Heard about your girlfriend. Can I come in?" His eyes didn't bother to raise and meet Dov's.

"Uh, sure." Dov stepped back and allowed Sam to enter. Confused, he followed Sam into the living room, where the man had collapsed onto the couch.

"Can you uh, pass me that?" He pointed vaguely in the direction of a bottle of Tylenol sitting on the window ledge. Nodding, Dov tossed the bottle to him before sitting on the coffee table opposite his former T.O.

"So, what's up?" Dov prodded.

"Look," Sam said, wincing as he downed two pills sans water. "I heard about your little girlfriend, and I figured I really owe you one. So, I did some checking."

"And? Did you find anything?" He leaned forward.

"Down, boy." Sam rubbed his temples and leaned further away from Dov. "I looked into her background, enemies, friends, the works. And, I found nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada. Your girlfriend is spotless. Like a shiny new penny." Sam began to ramble.

"She's not my girlfriend." He sighed, looking at his feet. "Just a girl I know."

"Just a girl who is staying in your house, and is the mother of your puppy?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever. I'll figure out what she is when she gets back." He lowered his voice. Aila let out a harsh, high pitched bark at Sam.

"Jesus Christ!" Sam cursed, covering his ears. "Make it be quiet!" Dov shushed the puppy and put him outside with some of the treats Megan had bought.

"Rough night?" He asked, returning to his seat on the coffee table.

"You have no idea. That's the third bachelor party that Ollie and Jerry have whisked me off to, and it's killing me. 'Girls get dress shopping, we get bottomless shot glasses!' Yeah, no thanks." He said, his eyes still closed. "But what am I supposed to say, sorry guys, I'd rather stay home with my fiancé because she can cook and is way hotter than you." Dov chuckled.

"You could." Dov shrugged. "Just tell them that you'd rather get some than chill with the boys at the bar."

Sam laughed a hearty laugh before groaning in pain. "I'm sure Andy would appreciate me using her sex drive as an excuse." He rubbed his eyes. "But man, I'd be happy just lying on the couch with her, compared to that damn bar."

"I hear that. Megan and I went stargazing for our first, uh, date, I guess." He smiled at the memory.

"Shit, yeah, Megan. That's why I'm here." He sat up straight. "Look, Dov, I searched for her. I really did. But there's nothing. No trace of her anywhere." Dov's heart sank. "Are you sure there isn't a chance that she just left town for a few days?"

"I guess I can't really say for sure, but I really don't think she did. Her neighbour heard an argument after she got a call saying her apartment had been broken into, but that was a lie. Someone lured her there, and now she's gone." His voice raised a little.

"Dov, it's okay. We'll find her." Sam said, leaning forward again.

"It could be her brother, he was dangerous. They ran from him, when they moved from Timmons. He was the reason they left." He rambled.

"Brother dropped off the map years ago, Dov. Honestly, I think he's dead. Because there is _no_ trace of this guy anywhere." Sam tried to calm him.

"How is this happening? We're cops, Sam. We're supposed to find the un-findable people. Solve the unsolvable. Yet we can't find a 5'6, 100 pound woman with no criminal record, no reason to be missing?" He stood up and began pacing. Sam got up and walked towards him.

"Look, Dov, sometimes things happen and we never know why. The fact is, she might come back, and she might not. It's been a day. One single day. We just need to see what happens." He rested a heavy hand on Dov's shoulder, effectively snapping him out of his panic. Sam's eyes fell to the right and came to rest on the untouched glass of tequila on the table. He tightened his grip on Dov's shoulder.

"What the fuck is that?" His dark eyes bore into Dov's.

"It was, I didn't – " He began, but Sam just tightened his already vice like grip.

"You're kidding me. You cannot be falling off of the wagon a week into recovery." Sam was angry, but the fierceness in his voice wasn't that of an enemy. It was that of a concerned friend, with a paternal edge. "What were you thinking?"

"I found it at Megan's." He said weakly.

"So you figured, what the hell, I'll steal her booze?" Sam tilted his head.

"No, I figured, she had this just in case she needed it." He looked at his feet. "Knowing that she felt like she needed a back up plan, made me feel like I needed a back up plan."

"Dov." Sam removed his hand from his shoulder. "If you can look at me and tell me that you're willing to give sobriety up, sell your soul and break a whole lot of hearts because one thing in your life has gone wrong, then you should not be a cop." Dov timidly raised his eyes to meet Sam's. "I'm serious. If you touch that stuff again, I will walk into Best's office with you and watch you resign."

"I didn't drink any." His voice was raspy.

"But you were going to. Dov, you saved my life. Without a doubt. I know it may not seem like it, but this is me returning the favour." He picked up the glass and handed it to him. "Drink it." Dov looked at him with wide eyes. "What are you waiting for? Drink it." Dov's fingers curled around the glass.

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

"Because, it's what you want, right? That's why you took it." Sam pressed.

"I don't want it." Dov whispered.

"Why not?" Sam stared at him.

"I don't know." He whispered back.

"Not good enough!" His voice rose a tinge. "Why don't you want it? Drink it, Dov!"

"Because I don't need it." Dov's eyes widened a little, and Sam clapped him on the shoulder.

"There you go, buddy. Now get rid of that stuff, and start acting like a cop." His voice was still strong, but he had a sense of victory and accomplishment that hollowed out the heaviness. Obediently, Dov did as he was told and returned to the living room.

"What now?" He asked, a little disoriented as to what had just happened.

"If there was anywhere she would go, where would it be?" Sam's eyes were focused, his lips pursed.

"I've known her for a few days. I don't know where she'd run to." Dov rubbed his hands over his face.

"She must have mentioned something, Dov. Anything." Sam turned to face him.

"Hold on." Dov shook his head and flipped open his phone. "Chris, is there anywhere that you two would go as kids? Anywhere at all?" Sam smiled at how much this girl clearly meant to Dov. "Think, Chris. There must have been somewhere." Outside, Aila scratched at the door. Dov turned to him. "One second!" He held up a finger to the dog. "No, not you, Chris." He shook his head.

"Come on!" Sam whispered, pointing to his wrist in an effort to speed Dov up.

"Cabin! About eighty kilometres north of here." Dov let Aila in before sliding on his shoes. "Thanks, Chris." He snapped his phone shut and followed Sam out to the squad car he'd driven over.

* * *

"You're off duty, so you need to stay behind me at all times. You should stay in the car, but I know that's not going to happen. Just listen to me, okay?" Sam made Dov promise as they got out of town.

The ride was relatively quiet, Dov was lost in his own thoughts. He didn't know why Sam had shown up at his house, or why he was doing this now. _Andy probably said something. _He smiled a small smile to himself. They were so lucky; madly in love, getting married on the supposed luckiest day in years, and happy. They were happy.

He allowed his eyes to glance over at Sam's profile as he drove. His eyes were dark as they normally were, but his features had softened. His eyes had a little more emotion in them; a small smile seemed to be permanently tugging at his lips. If Dov didn't know any better, he'd say that there were a few more laugh lines that had made themselves evident on Sam's weathered skin.

"What are you planning for Christmas this year?" Sam said, abruptly.

"Uh, I hadn't thought about it yet. Why?" Dov snapped out of the observant trance he'd been relaxing in for a few minutes.

"Andy wants to have a Christmas slash New Years party." He smiled. "I thought you might want to come, if you aren't too busy."

"You're actually okay with having a Christmas party?" Dov raised his eyebrows.

"We've been over this, Dov." Sam laughed. "What baby wants, baby gets."

"This is true." Dov laughed with him. When they both settled, a lull fell over the car and left them in comfortable silence for the rest of the ride to the cabin. They'd made it there in record time, and the two quickly and quietly got out of the car and approached the large oak door.

Sam knocked once, and called in to inform whoever may be there that it was the police, before picking the lock.

"Wait here." He looked back at Dov, and pushed open the door. Gun drawn, his eyes narrowed and he began to clear the building, room by room. He returned to the front and gave Dov the okay, before helping him sort through the house.

They came upon what appeared to be a guest room, on the second floor. It was clean, beds made, but the sink still had droplets of water in it.

"Someone was here." Sam breathed.

"I really wanted her to be here." Dov rested his head in his hands. "Damnit." It was clear that he was at his wits' end. He went to stand, but lost his balance and reached out to the side table to steady himself.

Upon closer inspection, he realized that a small indent in the wood was not a characteristic of years of wear and tear, but a small carving.

"Sam." He nodded towards the table. "She was here at one point." He pointed to the corner of the table, where a dove had been delicately carved.

"Pretty recently, too." Sam said, blowing off the wood chips that the carving had created. "We're close." He said to himself, wrinkling his nose.

Dov remained seated on the bed, tracing the carving with his index finger. A sharp intake of breath from across the room told him that something else had come up.

"What?" He asked, getting up and walking over to Sam.

"Gun case, empty." He held up the silver lock box. "Blood, tacky." He pointed to the reddish stain on the side of the box.

Dov cursed and slammed a fist into the wall.

"What if we're too late?" His voice took on it's trademark raspy, abrasive tone.

"We'll find her, don't worry. I'm gonna get someone out here to run the blood through the system, see if we get a match." He jogged out of the room.

By now, the sun had set. Dov walked out onto the patio attached to the bedroom and leaned over the railing, looking up to the stars.

He located a familiar constellation. "Where is she?" He begged the dove. "Please, just give me something." The cool night air bit at his ears and nose. He gazed out over the forest before him.

"I'll find you babe. I promise."


	10. But You Can't Always Rescue

Finished! Thanks all for your reviews, I'll be starting my next fic soon.

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But You Can't Always Rescue

"Thanks for everything, Sam." Dov's voice was sincere as he stood before the open passenger door, leaning down to make eye contact with the other man. "Really."

"It's nothing, Dov. I'll let you know if anything else turns up, okay?" Sam smiled, his hangover having faded to a dull roar.

"Sounds good. Now go home to your fiancé." He closed the door and tapped the roof of the car as Sam drove off. Turning back to his house, he ran his hands through his hair and exhaled heavily. Now what?

He jogged up the front steps and was greeted by an eager Aila. He reached down and lifted the dog into his arms.

"You spend more time being carried than you do walking, don't you little dog?" Aila licked his nose. "Yes, that's what I thought." He walked down the hallway to his still unmade bed, and collapsed into it. He pulled off his shirt and let himself melt into the warm, comforting blankets. When he opened his eyes, Aila was mirroring his actions. The puppy was curled up at the base of the adjacent pillow, already sleeping.

Smiling, Dov rolled over and sighed before pulling up the dark comforter and closing his eyes once more. He hadn't been still for more than a minute when his cell phone rang.

"Jesus." He mumbled, grabbing his phone from the night stand. "Hello?"

"Hey, how are you doing?" Andy asked sleepily. "Sam said the cabin was a bust."

"I'm fine, I suppose." He let his head fall back onto the pillow.

"Want me to come over?" She asked.

"It's alright. Me and Aila are just gonna get some sleep." Aila's ears perked up at the mention of his name.

"You still have the dog? When is her friend taking him back?" Dov could imagine the confused look on her face.

"Don't know. I'll track down her number later, now, I'm sleeping." He smiled.

"Alright, I'll let you go." She giggled. "Hang in there, brother."

"I know, I know. Keep on keepin' on." He chuckled tiredly.

"Keep the faith, love you." She admired how he was still able to laugh in a situation like this.

"Love you too." He closed his phone and placed it back on the night stand. Drifting off to sleep, her words echoed. _Keep the faith. _

"I'll do my best." He whispered, and then sleep overtook him.

For the next three days, that was just what he did. He kept on hoping, kept on believing, even though the call never came. No sign of her anywhere, no nothing. Best had moved more manpower on to her case, and her picture had been in broadcast in the news, but no new tips had come in.

After almost a year on the force, Dov knew this wasn't right. There are always tips, always. That's just the way it is. But no one had called in about her with anything of value. He'd made regular trips to her apartment, tried to track down Christine and done anything he could around the station.

It was nearly five PM, and he was on his way home after a long day of helping out in booking, and desk work for no pay. He needed something to get his mind off of her.

"Dov, come here." Gail snaked her arm around his and pulled him into an interview room. "Why are you in today?"

"Don't have anything better to do." His eyes didn't leave the floor. They hadn't for three days. He was strictly on autopilot.

Without speaking, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and laid her head on his shoulder. It took him a minute, but he responding, his arms finding their way around her back.

"Are you alright?" She whispered, delicately.

"I wish people would stop asking me that." He answered quietly.

"I want to make you feel better." She closed her eyes and willed him to relax.

"I don't know when that's going to happen." He breathed.

"Soon enough." She whispered.

At that moment, Dov felt a sharp kick to his side. He jumped back.

"Jesus! Was that – ?" He pointed at her stomach. She's been put on desk duty recently, and she hadn't been wearing the glamorous Kevlar vests that the other cops had to squeeze into every day.

She smiled brightly and placed both hands on her stomach. "Yeah. She's a kicker, little Abby."

"Her names Abby?" Dov walked back towards her, and ran his open palm over her belly.

"Yeah. Chris named her. I think it's quite fitting. It means father's joy." She looked at herself in the two way mirror. Her blue eyes and pink lipstick complimented her icy yet glowing complexion. She was definitely pregnant. Aside from her newly developed stomach, her breasts were noticeably bigger. Chris had bragged about it, a lot.

"She's going to be beautiful." He smiled at her stomach. Gail smiled and let out a small laugh.

"She will. Look at you. You're a vision." He smiled down at her.

"I wonder if she'll look like me or Chris." She bit her lip excitedly.

"You're so lucky. This whole thing is so exciting." He smiled. Suddenly, Gail put her hands on his and looked him in the eyes, her face taking on a serious tone.

"Can I make your day?" She asked, totally straight faced.

"Sure?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Will you be Abby's godfather?" The words bounced off of the walls as Dov's eyes widened.

"Really?" He whispered.

"Really. Me and Chris already talked about it." She squeezed his hands.

"Yes! Yes, I will totally be her godfather." He smiled bigger than he had in days. Picking her up and spinning her around, Dov got a much needed break from the stressful life he was leading. Gail squealed gleefully.

"Dov! I'm too fat for this!" She laughed.

"What ever, Gail. You're like a hundred pounds." He set her down and moved back to sit on the table. Megan is a hundred pounds. He made the connection and another wave of depression hit him like a wall.

"What do you miss most about her?" Gail asked, leaning back into the wall. He exhaled before answering.

"I miss the way she fit perfectly, right here." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Perfectly." He chewed on his bottom lip and stared at the floor.

"Just use that. Think about how much you love holding her. Think about how great it will feel when she gets back." She walked towards him.

"If she gets back." He corrected, quietly.

"No, when she gets back. When she knocks on your door, and says 'I'm sorry that I disappeared, but I'm back now and everything's okay'" Gail took his hand in hers and traced the soft lines around his knuckles. "Then you can wrap your arms around her, and never let go."

Dov smiled at her. "I guess."

"You'll be fine." She brushed his hair off to the side. "Now get out of here. Go feed that puppy of yours." He kissed her on the cheek and headed home.

That night, Dov lay alone in his bed. Aila had fallen asleep in the living room and he just didn't have the heart to disturb him. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling like he had the nights leading up to this one. His house had returned to the state it had been in before they'd met. It was quiet. No joy, no life, not a home. Just a house that he stayed in.

Rolling onto his side, Dov saw the clock strike three.

"Oh hell." He sighed. It was another hour before the promise of sleep finally offered up and Dov got some much needed rest, but not for long.

The sound of claws clicking across the floor caught Dov's attention, but didn't stir him enough. Aila appeared in the doorway, whining. It was then that Dov lifted his head and called the dog up.

"I know, little guy. I miss her too." He said, pulling the dog into his arms.

"Really?" A small voice floated into his ears from the hallway. Propping himself up on his elbows, he listened intently, sure that he'd imagined it.

"Yeah. A lot." He said to whoever may or may not be there. Slowly, a familiar figure padded into the room and towards the bed.

"Hi." She whispered. Dov was still frozen in place, praying he wasn't hallucinating. Aila wriggled out of his arms and ran over to Megan, yipping happily. "Hey, cutie." She giggled, leaning down and kissing Aila on the head. "Dov? You okay?" She asked softly.

"Are you kidding me?" He asked. "Are you okay? What happened? Where have you been?" He scrambled out of bed and wrapped his arms around her, revelling in the scent he'd been missing. She inhaled sharply and shook a little when he first touched her. At first, he didn't know why. But as he reached up to brush the hair out of her face, what he felt was not normal.

Turning on the light, he fell back into the bed in shock.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" He said, regaining his balance. Her right eye was swollen shut, most of her face caked in dried blood. Her hair had been haphazardly tied back, which revealed the layers of bruises on her neck and arms.

Dov stood, his breathing jagged. He wanted to hold her for hours, but he couldn't touch her. She needed medical attention.

"I'm okay." She smiled, stepping towards him.

"No you're not, that was a stupid question. We need to get you to a hospital." He said, grabbing a shirt off of the floor.

"No. I don't want to go." She shook her head frantically. "I'm okay! I'm fine. We can go in the morning." Her voice was raspy and worn.

"You're hurt. We need to go. I'll be right there, I promise." He slid the shirt on.

"No!" Tears welled in her eyes. "I don't want people looking at me, or testing me, or touching me I just want to go to sleep." Her breathing sped up. Dov stopped moving and really looked at her. The eye he could see showed pure terror, and she was shaking noticeably.

"Okay." He took the shirt off again and carefully snaked his arms around her waist. He touched his forehead to hers. "I'm so glad you're back." She smiled gratefully, her long eyelashes grazing his. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"My legs hurt." She whispered. Carefully, he slid his arms under her knees and around her back and lifted her off of the ground. She let her head rest on his shoulder as he carried her into the bathroom and set her on the counter.

He grabbed the face cloth hanging on the towel rack and ran it under water, before carefully starting to wipe away the blood and dirt that covered her skin. She didn't move, she just stared ahead as he tended to her injuries; icing her eye, bandaging her leg.

"Who did this to you?" He asked, placing his hands on either side of her. She looked at him, but didn't answer. "Who?" He asked, a bit more forcefully.

"Don't worry about it." She said quietly.

"Don't worry about it?" He stepped backwards. "You disappeared for four days. I searched day and night. And now you show up, beat half to death, and I'm not supposed to worry about it?" He asked in disbelief.

"I dealt with it, okay?" She snapped, her voice shaky. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Megan." He breathed, rubbing his hands over his eyes. "This is so frustrating. I can't just let it go."

"You need to, Dov. Just leave it at that." She placed her hands on either side of his face and looked in his eyes. "Please." She whispered.

He held her gaze for a second before dropping his eyes to the floor and sighing in resignation. He picked up the cloth and continued to wipe away the flakes of blood. He moved down and made slow circles on her neck, careful not to apply unneeded pressure. He traced his finger along the cut that ran the length of her jaw and winced himself when he realized how deep it was at the end.

He clenched his jaw as he took in the extent of the five finger bruises on her neck but restrained himself.

"Anywhere else?" He asked her as he finished cleaning her neck. She shook her head no. "You sure?" She opened her mouth to speak but decided against it. He studied her face for a minute before picking her up again and carrying her back to his bedroom. He pulled off her sweater and her yoga pants before lowering her carefully into bed and pulling the blankets up over top of her. He shut off the lights and walked around to his side of the bed and climbed in with her. Carefully, he folded his arms around her and held her close to his body.

"I found that bottle of tequila at your place." He whispered.

"I'm sorry." She answered softly.

"That's all you can say?" He looked at her.

"Dov, please. I'm so tired." Her voice was pure desperation. Nodding, he kissed her temple softly gathered her back into his arms.

"We have to talk about it tomorrow, okay?" He breathed. "We need to."

"Why?" She whimpered.

"Because I care about you. I lost you once, and I'll be damned if I lose you again. Especially to alcohol." She could tell that he meant every word.

"I'm sorry that this happened to you." She whispered.

"To me? What?" He asked, confused.

"You just start to get your life back on track, and then this happens. I'm dragging you down." She admitted, to herself more than him.

"You're kidding." He pulled away to look at her.

"Don't lie to me Dov. Life was a lot simpler before this." She bit her lips and her eyes again welled up with tears.

"Life was simpler because all I did was drink." Dov countered.

"You're completely disgusted by me now, aren't you?" She began to get up, but he held her down.

"Why would I think that?" He asked, rubbing her arms lightly.

"I look disgusting, I was ready to start drinking again, its pathetic. It's not what you asked for, why am I even in your bed?" She unwrapped herself and pulled herself out of bed.

Swiftly, Dov rolled across the bed and blocked the door, effectively capturing her. He walked towards her and placed both hands on either side of her battered face.

"You're beautiful. You're always beautiful. And it kills me that you don't know that. You're in a bad spot, I'd be doing the same thing. That's why I'm here, and I'm gonna keep you sober." He pressed his forehead to hers. "And I'm asking for this now. I want to call you my girlfriend. I want to take you out to dinner and take you to that damn Christmas party for the division."

"Really?" She knitted her brows together.

"Yeah, really." He smiled, surprised at what he'd just said too. "Now come back to bed, and stay a while." He pressed a soft, delicate kiss to her lips. A tear escaped from her eyes. "What?" He asked.

"I never thought I'd hear someone say that to me." She laughed as she wiped the tear away and sniffed.

"I never thought that I'd meet such an amazing girl at an AA meeting." He cradled her head in his hands and kissed her delicately. She circled her arms around his back and deepened the kiss.

"Not tonight." He laughed, carrying her back to the bed. He fell onto the bed next to her and kissed her neck. She rolled over and touched her nose to his, before settling back into his arms. "I missed this."

"What?" She giggled.

"You. In my arms, in my bed." He rubbed her back lightly with his thumbs, tracing small patterns along her impossibly soft skin.

"I missed it too." Her hot breath on his chest gave him goose bumps.

"Can you do me one more favour?" He asked.

"Anything."

"Smile. Not one of those corny little 'I'm only doing this cause you made me' smiles, I want a real smile." He looked down at her.

"Why?" She dragged her nails lightly down the line of his jaw.

"Because if you smile at me, then all is right with the world. Then maybe, I'll be able to get some sleep tonight."

She smiled a pure, honest megawatt smile at him. "Better?"

"Better than ever." He kissed her. "Welcome home."


End file.
